Today in PTA (Pass Them All)

I was pretty surprised to hear we needed to give 7 to 12 comments for each student receiving a grade of NX this semester. According to what I've heard, DOE was originally demanding 40. Of course that's fine with them. After all, they don't have to do the actual work, and it surely won't ruin anyone's gala luncheon plans over at Tweed.

I assume, by 7 to 12, they mean 7. I'm not going to plod through a bunch of comment codes looking for extra busy work. For one thing, all my grades are online already. Anyone who can't simply look at them and determine what the issue is won't be helped by seven comments, let alone twelve.

Just in case the notion of 7 comments isn't enough, they've asked us to cut and paste them from a list somewhere. You see, Skedula, which we use, can only handle three. Rather than allow us to select three from the list and copy and paste four, we have to cut and paste them all. Because in the DOE, the way to spell efficiency is to waste as much time as possible.

Now the DOE isn't wasting their time, because after all, how many gala luncheons can you attend in a single day? Sure, there are dinner parties, but they're after hours. And before and after lunch, they have some failed principal act as guru and plan retreats at elite hotels upstate. Meanwhile, lowly UFT members are busy cutting and pasting comments. Tweedies have Very Important Stuff to do so they can't be bothered creating a simple program just to help you out.

Let's go beyond the tedium of cutting and pasting comment codes for a minute, though. Is that really the only way a summer school teacher can figure out what each student needs? For one thing, summer school classes aren't subject to standard class size regulations. Imagine having 50 students, all of whom have seven comments. Imagine that some have up to twelve, due to teachers who are ambitious, masochistic, or both. What exactly are you supposed to do? Are you supposed to prepare 50 individualized lessons so as to meet the needs of each student?

Oddly enough, summer school has been around for a long time now, and no teacher has ever needed seven to twelve comments for any student, ever. I don't teach summer school, but if I did I'd try to give as much of the course I possibly could. I'd try to have my students proficient in whatever the course entailed. It would not be at all helpful if I had to read a thousand comments and somehow meet the needs of each individual student. I've known supervisors who'd have no issue directing people to do just that.

Given all that inconvenience, it makes you wonder whether this is a last ditch attempt from Tweed to browbeat teachers into just passing everyone. Hey, who cares that Dave was failing before the apocalypse, that he hasn't shown up to a virtual class, and that the one solitary occasion he did homework it was clearly copied from that smart girl in row two? So what if you had to call her and verify, and what's the difference that he copied and pasted an entire composition from her and thought you were too thick to notice? Maybe you should just give him a 65 and save all those comments.

That's what Tweed wants, isn't it?

And in case that's not enough, maybe it'll save you the trouble of having to check all the copied work that's sure to flow into your Google Classroom for the next ten days. Who wants to bother checking everyone else's homework to find out exactly who Dave is copying from? Who wants to go back and lower other people's grades for letting Dave copy after having already submitted them once?

Still, I'll stick with failing students who've done nothing. I was flexible with one student who really had trouble getting online, but I got her online and she's flourished (what with being brilliant to begin with). I have another student who cut class between September and March, showed up for one online class, and for a movie review, cut and pasted one off the net. It was so obvious I was able to paste a paragraph in Google, identify it in a second, and send it back to him with a well-earned zero.

I'll cut and paste for the DOE because they're paying my salary. That's a MUCH better idea than simply asking us to write explanatory paragraphs about each student. Left to my own devices, I could do that easily. Perish forbid we should say what we actually think when we could pass hours cutting and pasting canned comments. That's not only a much better use of our time, what with the absolute tedium and lack of flexibility, but it's FAR more useful to both the teacher and the parents.

Seriously, I'll bet dollars to donuts my time will be wasted, along with that of tens of thousands of my brothers and sisters. They couldn't pay me enough to teach summer school, be it in person, virtual, or in any other realm. Nonetheless, if I did, I'd teach one lesson plan without veering into 7 times 50 degrees of separation. (I always figure differentiation is your approach to individual students, and that if you aren't a total galoot it just comes naturally.)

And to those of you actually teaching summer school, you have all of my sympathy.

UFT Executive Board June 15, 2020--UFT Suppports Black Lives Matter, HEROES Act, and a Not Insane September

5:50 Roll Call

UFT Secretary LeRoy Barr--All resolutions and minutes have been passed via email.

Reports from Districts

Janella HInds--Sterling R. and she just hosted HS committee meeting, over 500 members, discussed September other things, 90 minutes.

Rashad Brown--Pride Committee met, will have drag queen story hour to celebrate diversity and pride month, will be drag queen bingo. 

UFT President Michael Mulgrew--Second week in row--No new Covid deaths in membership. Moving forward, we have some resolutions, but we're very focused on September. People seem to think there's an imperative to open school. Oddly, it might be safe here, but in the rest of the country things are moving backward. Will be around until there's a vaccine.

Our budget is in peril. We need the HEROES act. Senate constantly on break. We want the package before July 4 break. If not, city budget will have significant cuts. How can we open schools with all these cuts? That won't work. City budget has to be balanced by July 1.

DOE sent out info on square footage. Most useless, from Blue Book, flawed for years. That's why we want walkthroughs. You can enter buildings with request. You should coordinate with principal. Even if we just do in person teaching, there isn't enough staff to split in half. Looks like each school will need at least three cohorts. Some may go to four. So walkthrough is necessary, and soon.

I don't know if we will open, or if we will be able to work with DOE. Either we have a vaccine, we go remote, or we social distance, which is most complicated. Without HEROES Act, I don't know what will happen. We're still pushing safety, livelihood and profession.

Injustices keep piling up, but majority of Americans are saying enough is enough. We have a resolution, NY State is passing good legislation. If they move school safety to DOE it's not defunding police, but simply moving a division's payroll. City Council upset at lack of response to City Hall.

This week we have a DA, and there's a lot of anxiety on school openings. Entire MLC has asked city for early retirement incentive. We'll see what happens. We are trying, We have to get both city and state to act. We'll see where bill goes, but I don't want to give false hope. Last retirement incentive was in 98. Many elected officials don't like them.

Medical accommodations--We've asked state and want to make list of which will be acceptable. If we are opening in a social distancing school setting, then UFT and students may need them. We will need more home schooling. There has been some movement, but both CSA and we would like more. I only want to talk to them about school opening right now.

Questions

September--Teachers talking about masks. Necessary?  Yes it is. They are essential if we are in buildings.

Will students keep masks on all day? We don't know. Talking to DOE.

When principal declines walkthrough call DR.

DOE and school say people are returning. What about cleanliness in school? How do we know they're sanitzed? They've been there for three months. There is no Covid there now.

If schools follow criteria we lay out, then that should be enough. We have an agreement that ILTs are not officially recognized by us. ILT is now being subsumed by PD committee, which is made up of a majority of teachers.

Principals will not be left to own devices in school openings. We will check that each school had a mutual walkthrough. If there is no collaboration we will step in.

Childcare--very tough. Hoping schools figure out a lot at their level. It's never been done before.

Safety walkthroughs should consider ventilation and other factors. UFT may ask safety to check buildings as well. Air exchange ratios must be as high as possible.

Will DA meet over summer? Possibly. People will be quite concerned.

What will we do if members believe buildings are unsafe? We will check it out and do what we have to do.

Doesn't believe 683 will be in person. They're not prepared. 

CDC says accommodations will be granted. Who will evaluate? If you need accommodation, you will get it from your doctor.

Members who live far away and have children may cause us to change what we have to do. We may have to do something dramatically different.

In Europe, they did K-8 live and HS remote. Some have done the opposite. Thinking NYC would want K-8 as much as possible.

We will extend open market to accommodate budget. If we don't get federal package, I don't even know how we'll open safely.

We have DA on Wednesday. Will try to answer as many questions as possible. People upset, angry, wish I had better partner than DOE.

For us, we only hit our remote groove in May, but how can we plan with no budget? Regardless, we focus on safety, livelihood and profession. We will also work on social good. We will miss a lot of end-year events.

We'll have a big party when we have a vaccine.

Q--What do you recommend teachers and CLS focus on?

A--Breaking up into cohorts. You may have ten classes of ten, but only eight teachers. Not sure we can even cover in person learning. When you get to three, we can finally cover it. We will have to come up with something different.  We need to focus on what we can cover.

Q--683--Guidance is all of us have to be live two hours, but when you add it up, with other specialties, they have many others. Will be in front of screen all day.

A--Won't work. We will clear up.

We still have a dramatic shortage in some areas and there will be new hires. We will have a package for them. IT department free, just finished project with Welfare Fund. 

 Thanks everyone for work, for input on resolutions, and we will talk Wednesday. 6:32

Second Roll Call. We are adjourned 6:40

Motion:        To approve the following:

BLACK LIVES MATTER RESOLUTION

Whereas, the United Federation of Teachers reaffirms Black Lives Matter, and 

Whereas, the statement Black Lives Matter means that until people of African descent are treated with dignity, humanity, and respect in all areas of our society and the barriers to their safety and health and full participation in the economy and wealth creation are dismantled, all lives do not matter, and

Whereas, our work is grounded in the fight for fairness so that every person we serve achieves their highest good, and 

Whereas, throughout our history, our union has demonstrated that belief, time and time again, through our collaboration with and support for local and national organizations working toward the equity, access, and empowerment of every student and family we serve, most recently affirmed in a resolution passed by the UFTs Delegate Assembly on December 12, 2018, and 

Whereas, representation of and participation in heterogeneous communities allow each of us to grow in our understanding of the human condition and establish our role in the improvement of our society, and 

Whereas, the UFT supports culturally responsive educational practices, including but not limited to, efforts to diversify New York City’s educational staff so that it more closely reflects its student population, and the expansion of Black studies as well as Asian, Latino, and Native American studies programs and LGBTQ history in our P-12 classrooms, be it therefore

Resolved, the UFT reaffirms our commitment to policies, initiatives and movements that promote respect for and inclusion of Black students and educators and move affirmatively to make it a reality, and, be it further

Resolved, that the UFT continues to urge its members to amplify our demand for justice, change and equity by supporting activities in the schools throughout the year, including but not limited to, Black Lives Matter in Schools week scheduled for February 2021and, be it further

Resolved, that the UFT seek reapportionment of city and state funds to bring resources into Black communities to foster self-determination through education, entrepreneurship, home ownership and the means to reverse the generational economic disparities and, be it further

Resolved, that the UFT proactively engage in the necessary work to dismantle inequities in our systems through its coalition partners so that our students and families have access to, including, but not limited to affordable housing, quality healthcare and healthcare coverage and youth employment , and, be it further

Resolved, that the UFT will continue its advocacy on behalf of making sure our students and communities are not discriminated against, or profiled and, be it further  

 Resolved, the UFT stands in solidarity with Black students and educators as well as all communities of conscience, in the struggle for a more supportive, equitable, and fair school system and society.

RESOLUTION IN SUPPORT OF THE HEROES ACT 

WHEREAS, the federal Health and Economic Recovery Omnibus Emergency Solutions, or HEROES, Act is designed to provide broad financial relief to individuals, businesses, nonprofit organizations, and state and local governments devastated by the economic fallout from the COVID-19 pandemic; and

WHEREAS, nearly one-third of reported coronavirus deaths occurred in nursing homes, and we must fund resources — including testing, drug treatment and personal protective equipment — for workers and residents at long-term care facilities; and

WHEREAS, the HEROES Act passed the U.S. House of Representatives by a partisan majority on May 15, 2020, and was sent to the Senate, where Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell has refused to take it up; and

WHEREAS, over 885,000 jobs vanished in New York City during the COVID-19 outbreak, the city’s budget hemorrhaged tax revenue and now faces a $9 billion shortfall next year and the city is not expected to begin a recovery until 2022, but McConnell stated on April 22 that he would rather see states that are struggling to fund public employees’ pensions declare bankruptcy than provide federal support; and 

WHEREAS, the possible development and distribution of a COVID-19 vaccine is a long way off, yet McConnell opposes the use of mail-in ballots for elections, thereby exposing walk-in voters, especially the immune-compromised and seniors, to potential coronavirus infection at polling sites; and 

WHEREAS, AFT President Randi Weingarten initiated a letter to McConnell, signed by retiree leaders throughout the United States including the UFT’s Retiree Teacher Chapter Chair Tom Murphy and UFT Treasurer Debra Penny, asking him to introduce and support the HEROES Act; therefore, be it 

RESOLVED, that the UFT reaffirms the message of the Weingarten letter to McConnell; and be it also

RESOLVED, that the UFT affirms its full support of the HEROES Act and similar pandemic-related funding for the nation, and urges NYSUT, the AFT, the AFL-CIO and the Association for Retired Americans to join us in working for passage of the HEROES Act; and be it further 

RESOLVED, that, in addition to thanking those federal legislators who already support the HEROES Act, we strongly urge all UFT members to take action by asking friends and family in other states to call and email their Republican senators and representatives to persuade them to support the HEROES Act. 

                                                                                                                                                          Carried

CHANGE TO THE DA RULES

June DA will operate with the same remote rules of order as implemented in the May DA. In addition, we propose the following amendment:

1. The Question period will be extended to ½ hr.

                                                                                                                                                          Carried

Motion:        To approve the following:

RESOLUTION AUTHORIZING SUMMER CONTINGENCY ENDORSEMENTS

WHEREAS, the United Federation of Teachers’ Delegate Assembly will not meet until Sept. 2020; and 

WHEREAS, unforeseen legislative and political contingencies may yet develop that could affect the interests of our members; and 

WHEREAS, there could be unpredicted vacancies of New York City Offices; and

WHEREAS, political organizations, campaigns and candidates are still engaged in ongoing activity to win the general election on Nov. 3, 2020; and 

RESOLVED, the United Federation of Teachers’ Delegate Assembly authorizes the Executive Board to consider, make or modify endorsements during the summer in order to have a timely impact on any such campaigns.

                                                                                                                                                          Carried

Motion:        To adjourn.

                                                                                                                                                          Carried

Respectfully submitted,

LeRoy Barr

Secretary

RESOLUTION ASSERTING THE NEED FOR SCHOOLS TO BE SAFE FROM CORONAVIRUS BEFORE REOPENING

WHEREAS, even as New York City begins emerging from shutdown measures intended to constrain the spread of COVID-19, the disease remains a public health threat, with rates of both positive test cases and COVID-linked deaths in the city rising in the first week of June; and

WHEREAS, the de Blasio administration plans to return students to New York City public school classrooms on Sept. 10; and

WHEREAS, to follow the social-distancing guidelines established by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control, the number of people in each school building will have to be significantly lower and we’ll have to establish practices and policies in schools that keep the intermingling of large groups of people to a minimum; and

WHEREAS, to reopen, schools must have widespread access to coronavirus testing to regularly check that people are negative or have immunity, a process for checking the temperature of everyone who enters a school building, rigorous cleaning protocols and personal protective gear in every school building, and an exhaustive tracing procedure that would track down and isolate those who have had close contact with a student or staff member who  tests positive for the virus; therefore be it

RESOLVED, the United Federation of Teachers asserts that our members should not return to schools and our members’ other worksites unless there are protocols and procedures in place to ensure the safety and health of the staff and students; and, be it also

RESOLVED, the UFT will work to ensure policies and procedures are in place in September that allow UFT members to fulfill their professional mission as public school educators while safeguarding the health and safety of school communities, and will hold the city to account in this process.

School in the Time of Covid

Florida has set a new record for new Covid cases. This, evidently, is what happens when you have some MAGA moron in charge whose sole interest is promoting business and commerce at the expense of humanity. What can the rest of us learn from that?

Israel opened schools. They have about 40% more students than NYC does. However, since they reopened, they've had to close 130 schools, and the number is growing rapidly. Are there any lessons there, and is Bill de Blasio paying the remotest attention?

Well, there's the obvious. Covid is still around, and when people get together it spreads. I've seen friends die, family sick, and watched others I know lose family members. I know a UFT member, generally healthy, in his 30s, who spent weeks in a hospital fighting Covid-induced pneumonia. I'm sure you have your own stories. Everyone does.

Despite this, the governor, mayor and chancellor can't wait to open school buildings. They labor under the outlandish misconception that, if we provide space, schoolchildren will practice social distancing. These are the same guys who deemed it an unacceptable risk to have Easter week off. You know, if they were off, they'd all go out and socialize, talk to one another, and spread the virus. Of course if we sent them into school buildings they'll behave completely differently, say the Three Wise Men. Just don't ask them why.

My school building has 4,600 students. The geniuses at Tweed have decided, when we reopen, that we can accommodate fewer than 1,000. This means that students can come in, at most, once a week. However, special education students, lucky them, are prioritized. They are in more need of face to face instruction, they say. Evidently they're also more in need of high infection risk too, but hey, those are the breaks.

My students are also in need of face to face instruction. It's what I do best. However, I've no doubt a lot of my students are undocumented. I'm sure that, even if medical care is available to them, many won't take advantage. For one thing, they don't know English. Many don't bother with things like Parent-Teacher Conferences, even though we do all we can to accommodate speakers of other languages. In case that's not enough, a lot of families have a healthy fear of Trump's Gestapo Lite, otherwise known as ICE. Some might ignore sickness, especially at early stages,

Not only that, but the mayor has determined some teachers won't be able to report to the building. Staff of a certain age are at high risk. Staff with compromised immune systems ought not to come. Those with certain diseases might be at unacceptable risk. I'm hearing that they expect 20% of staff won't be reporting in person.

So what does that suggest for the other 80%? Evidently their risk level is acceptable. They can contract the virus and they probably won't die.  That ought to be good enough for anyone, of course. Never mind that they may live with people who fall into the other 20%, and never mind they may transmit it to them as well.

De Blasio indicates again that in-person student school attendance won’t be compulsory in the fall, saying there will be remote learning available for students whose parents don’t feel comfortable sending them to school.

— Ben Max (@TweetBenMax) June 12, 2020

Well, that's a pretty good option for families who don't want their kids bringing Covid home in their backpacks. Of course, some families haven't got the option of leaving kids home. However, since most kids will be going to school buildings one or two days a week tops, these families haven't got options, or at least good ones. (And this is a prime example of the inequity de Blasio and Carranza frequently pretend to address.)

Yet the mania from the mayor and chancellor is for 25% steam ahead. Is it worth it to open buildings so that students can show up one or two days a week?

I don't think so. Online education sucks compared to the face to face kind. However, if the mayor and chancellor would help us out by promoting real faces on Zoom and Google Hangouts, they'd help both us and our students. As far as I can tell, they aren't even going to bother with that.

I hope my high school students graduate with more common sense than Cuomo or de Blasio. Otherwise I fear for their survival.

On Remote Learning--Show Me Their Faces

Remote learning is a big topic these days. I'm always reading about it. Not only that, I've been doing it for three months. WSJ and the Post say it's awful, though I don't remember them ever saying that about the cyber charters that infest these United States. They're pretty well-known as patently abysmal. A lot of them are scammers who get paid for students who never show up.

Now I'm personally familiar with at least some students who never show up. Starting next Wednesday they become my primary professional focus. I'm not overly optimistic about the prospects of most students currently failing my classes. They seem to be failing all their others as well. I mean, I'll make myself available, but some of these students have been unreachable for weeks. I'm going to focus today on the students who've passed, which is almost all those who've been showing up to my Zoom classes.

Here's my big complaint--I can't see them. I have no idea what on earth they're doing behind those avatars. Are they listening? Are they playing video games on their phones? Have they muted themselves so they can watch video? Are they sleeping? If so, are they even sleeping alone? Who knows? Certainly not me. They could be doing anything. If they were in my classroom, I'd walk over and orient them one way or another.

Actually, if students were showing their faces, I'd feel confident giving assessments. If I could actually watch them in real time, and if I could see what they were writing in Google Classroom, I'd be confident enough to believe it was them, or at least most of them, actually doing the work. Earlier this morning I gave students credit for homework that I'd entirely gone over in class. Now some of them know the material, and I know they do. At least one of them doesn't. I have been taking ten points off for late homework, but honestly that student deserved a zero.

The student I just mentioned, and several others, come to my online class most or all of the time. However, when I call on them, they don't respond. Now there could be a lot of reasons for that. Once, I called a student, she didn't answer, and when I said her name again she wrote in the chat that she was in the bathroom. Evidently she brought her device with her, if indeed she was there. Now if she had her camera on, I'd see she wasn't there and call on someone else. I have no issue with kids using the bathroom, but as things are, some of them may be spending entire classes there.

The simple requirement that students show their faces would make this easier. Of course, there are students who likely cannot. With 10% of NYC kids being homeless (Great work, Mayor de Blasio.), I'm sure there are students who simply cannot do it. Perhaps we could make allowances for special circumstances. But the default should be camera on, assuming we want to do this right.

For a few weeks, I offered extra credit to students who left their cameras on. It turns out the only ones who took me up on it were my very best students, the ones who I'll be deciding whether to give 98 or 99 later this week. (Actually I'll give them all 100. It is, after all, the apocolypse.) The others just ignored me. The students currently failing for being there (but not really being there ) continued to use those icons. After all, there's a great advantage when the teacher can't tell you to stop playing with your phone, to wake up, to turn the light on in your brain, to answer a question, to pay attention, or even to pretend you're paying attention.

Here's the thing--we're going to be doing this remote learning thing for the foreseeable future. There's no way we can open schools the way we did last September. The more I read about what Tweed's planning, the more I think they have no viable way to safely open the schools. Yesterday I heard someone say the chancellor anticipated it would be too risky for 20% of staff to report to school buildings. You might determine that means the chancellor is very concerned with those whose health is more at risk than others.

On the other hand, you might determine the chancellor is not concerned with the other 80% of us. It's not a big logical jump. Even if you're 21 years old and all perky and stuff, you might not want to contract Covid. It could be detrimental to your health. And just in case that isn't enough to give you pause, you might live with your parents at that age. You might live with your grandparents at that age. I don't need a medical degree to know that it isn't just how sick you can get, it's also how sick you can make others.

Now sure, I kid the chancellor a little bit. But I've got the definite impression he wants to open schools to some degree or other. I've seen no evidence that any of the plans I've been hearing are safe. In case that's not bad enough, it doesn't appear he, or any of the geniuses who work at Tweed, have given thought one to how we who do the actual work can do it effectively.

A simple thing like seeing student faces would make a world of difference.Why doesn't the chancellor know that? Because he's never done this work in his life. Why doesn't he just ask those of us doing the work?

If you see him, do me a favor and ask him that.

Letter from the Chancellor

Dear Colleagues,
 
I hope you and your families are safe and healthy. At this moment the entire country is in turmoil, and none of us know what to do about it. I don't either, but it's important that you think I'm somehow in control, even though I have no idea how to handle what the hell is going on not only in the city, but also in the state, the country, and the world. You know, just like you.

It is my job to try to make you think otherwise. That's why I boldly announced that we would continue instruction last Monday as we were doing citywide PD. I knew that was awkward for you, so I announced it to parents and to principals, but didn't bother contacting you at all. But that damn New York Post couldn't write up a story about how kids weren't doing diddly-squat, even though truth be told they were not.

We started planning for this return the moment that we closed buildings in March. While it didn't do much good since we had no idea what the hell was gonna happen next, one thing is for sure: we haven't got the faintest notion just what we're gonna do when September rolls around.
 
Since we cannot yet predict what September will look like, we can—and we must—be prepared for a range of possibilities. Our job is to be ready and nimble. What if we are invaded by mutant clowns from Mars? We have an entire focus group looking at that. If that happens, we are 100% prepared!
 
Just in case that doesn't happen, there are 8 key areas outlined below. We've discussed these things with absolutely everyone except working teachers, who are complainers, and who tend to ask questions like, "How the hell can we open school buildings during a pandemic and also prevent Covid infections?" It's these nattering nitpickers and nagging nuisances who never nod to our nebulous needs.

As you all know, we left schools open for weeks after we closed Broadway. We also ignored hundreds of thousands of your signatures until the pressure became too much for us to bear. I myself, upon seeing 108,000 signatures of UFT members demanded there be 108,000 signatures of epidemiologists instead. Hey man, the mayor said everyone on board, and I value my job just as much as anyone else.

Look, if your principal asked you to work under circumstances hazardous to your health, would YOU want to be the one to tell him he's nuts? Of course not. You'd ask the chapter leader to do it for you. Well, I haven't got a chapter leader.

In the meantime, I want to ensure you are aware of these key planning considerations:

1.    Enhanced Health Measures: This is priority #1 for a clear reason: the New York Post is killing me writing about how online education sucks. Therefore, I need to open the buildings whether or not it's a good idea. I will give you lots of stuff to make you think it's not actually insane. This includes PPE and other equipment, supplies, social distancing protocols, and monitoring of health indicators required to protect our children, teachers, and staff. Sure it will be impossible to get 1.1 million kids to cooperate, but let's pretend otherwise and continue to work with the Health Department. After all, they did a great job keeping schools open after we'd had proven cases of Covid. They know how to avoid rules while pretending to do something. 
 
2.    Trauma-Informed Transition Back to School: The start of the 2020-2021 school year will be unlike any other that we’ve experienced. Everyone will be a nervous wreck. Naturally, both teachers and students will be concerned for their lives. That's a pretty basic instinct we must all try to overcome. This means we must focus on things like sports and sex and do our best to ignore imminent risks to our lives and those of our loved ones.
 
3.    Blended Learning: We know that there are a whole lot of cyber charters, and we know they all suck. We also know that what we've been doing these past few months, while better than nothing, is no substitute whatsoever for real classwork. However, those bastards at the Post keep saying we suck, and we need to do whatever we can to persuade them otherwise, even though we all know they will continue to trash us no matter what. Of course we should really be safe and not open the buildings at all, but de Blasio only has a year to go and I'm gonna need a new gig in 2021. Sorry guys, but I can't simply do the safe thing and leave the buildings closed.
 
4.    School Start Date: We are wholeheartedly working towards a September start date, while working closely with DOHMH to get them to pretend that it is safe to return to school buildings and offices. 
 
5.    Rolling/Phased Starts: Traditionally, all staff and students begin their respective school years at the same time. We are seeing so far that other countries are modifying schedules, and/or starting groups of students in person at different times. What I plan to do is make index cards with school names, toss the stack of them down a stairway marked with various starting dates, and whichever date your school name falls on will be when your school starts. I figure that's as good a method as any.
 
6.    Social Distancing and Split Schedules: Based on health protocols, we must assess how social distancing could be implemented. Of course we have no idea how to do that, and you don't either. What we plan to do is dump this issue on principals and let them figure out. After all, it's leadership 101 that when faced with impossible problems, it's best to delegate and then blame others for the inevitable and massive failures that will occur.

7.    Building Operations: Building operations also need to be adjusted to ensure that schools and other DOE work settings are safe, healthy places for students and staff. Sure, none of you have ever even seen a clean classroom in this city, so don't expect to see one in September either. However, we'll make a great show of giving custodians an extra few hours to wipe stuff down, and when your buildings look exactly as they always did, we fully expect you to ignore it.
 
8.    School Support Services: School busing and school food operations will also need to be adjusted to accommodate health and safety operations. We have no idea how the hell we will pull this off, but we'll do our very best to pretend otherwise. We will also completely ignore the pressing need for childcare that will occur citywide as parents and working teachers have no options whatsoever for their children.
 
In each of the above areas, we must prioritize equity, excellence, and resilience. Equity means that we will try to screw up equally no matter which neighborhood you reside in, and whatever different physical spaces you may share with Eva Moskowitz. Excellence ensures no matter what program we agree upon, and no matter how poorly envisioned it is, we will call it excellent regardless of whether any learning is taking place. Resilience means teachers better shut up and go along with whatever the program ends up being.
 
We will be engaging with one another at Tweed and patting one another on the back no matter what happens.

I thank you for your continued flexibility and patience. I assure you that it will be needed more than ever in the coming chaotic months.

In unity,
 
Richard

Trump Says Fine People on Both Sides of Pedophilia Rally

As pedophiles rallied at Lafayette Park, President Trump today once again derided what he called the fake news.  He further demanded the press be fair and balanced in its coverage of stories about so-called bad apple teachers. He stated there were blame was on both sides, and that there were fine teachers in both the pedophile and non-pedophile groups.

"Those fake news Washington Post only shows one side," said the President. The Post Office needs to quadruple rates so that Amazon can't deliver stuff so cheaply, especially that fake news stuff that never mentions what a great job I'm doing. No one knows the Post Office better than me."

Trump's complaints, and his subsequent tweetstorm was predicated by recent teacher suspensions. After two AP teachers were caught on camera in acts of pedophilia, 57 others decided to resign from their positions teaching AP courses. This is because they were told their union would not defend them against the alleged pedophilia, which was caught on video and seen all over the world.

Union officials stated that, while they provide lawyers to defend teachers against charges to remove teachers from their jobs, they did not offer legal protection against any atrocities teachers may commit while doing their jobs. Several of the teachers were quite vocally disappointed.

"What if I kill someone, for example," mused one of the departing teachers. "Shouldn't the union defend me against murder charges?" The 57 teachers were surprised to learn that, unlike Donald Trump, they could not, in fact, murder someone on Fifth Avenue and get away with it.

"Pedophiles have rights too," stated one of the teachers. "I'm very disappointed that they get hung out to dry like that. What if any of us were to go on a killing spree? What if we spent our free time robbing banks? Shouldn't we be protected?"

"This is an outrage," stated another. "Just because we've found a few pedophiles in the teaching force, we ought not to be stereotyped like this. Now they're all, oh, we're gonna pass laws that if they catch you performing pedophilia in one town, every other town is gonna know. That's so unfair! How is that poor pedophile gonna ever find another teaching job?"

While pedophiles rallied at Lafayette Park, there was a strong counter-rally. However, the counter-rally was quickly dispersed after the National Guard pelted them with rubber bullets and tear gas. At least we think it was the National Guard, since none of them were wearing any visible ID.Trump then walked into the park and held up a bible, He then derided the counter-ralliers for carrying signs when free bibles were available in many hotel rooms nationwide. He suggested they were members of Antifa.

Public sentiment has been running high against pedophile teachers. President Trump stated the whole controversy was overblown, and that there were good people on both sides. At a rally, he stated that pedophiles ought to go out and do what they do, and that they shouldn't worry too much about small details, which were always overblown by the "fake news." Trump suggested while the pedophiles were abducting children, they ought not to worry too much about whether they hit their heads while being dragged into automobiles. He said they shouldn't be too nice with them.

There was one positive development for the pedophile teachers, however. Several schools in Florida offered to hire all of them. The teachers are weighing their options. None have yet agreed to move to the Sunshine State, but there is always that option.

The President praised Florida, and stated he was grateful that at least some people were willing to look past stereotypes. He repeated his contention that despite their behavior, they weren't all pedophiles. He condemned the papers for printing fake news and renewed his call for a state-run network that would present  the news exactly as he described it at his neo-Klan rallies.