We're Back in Kansas, Dorothy

Low income students will no longer be receiving federal grants to study evolutionary biology, it appears. Various government spokespersons declared the omission an error.

Of course, various government spokespersons said the Iraq mission was accomplished three years ago, that the resistance was winding down, that Sadaam had WMDs and was in league with Al Queda, and that the war would last 6 days or 6 weeks (they doubted six months).

Perhaps that's why others feel it's yet another step to refute well-established science and edge the United States back to feudalism. We've got those highly efficient black boxes now so who knows whether or not our votes are being counted?If it weren't for that nasty science and history intruding everywhere, perhaps the Bush administration would be able to proceed more rapidly with the vital business of reducing Steve Forbes' tax bill.

Another Brainstorm

Mayor Bloomberg's representative declared the city would not contribute a single dime to the CFE lawsuit. Therefore, despite a state Supreme Court ruling, it's somehow still not resolved.

So, sorry, NYC, but your kids will continue to have the highest class sizes in the state. And the money that would be devoted to procuring quality teachers is just not there. And schools at 250% capacity (like mine) are just gonna have to stay that way.

But guess what? The day after the Daily News reported that the DoE was spending millions on no-bid contracts, NYC Schools Chancellor Klein declared that all 10th and 11th graders would be able to take the PSAT for free.

Doesn't that make you feel better, as you try to crawl over your fellow students to get to your earth science class on time? So what if it's taught by a gym teacher? The whistle keeps you awake, at least.

Thanks to Schoolgal.

Bad Spell for Charters

USA Today reports that charters, after all, do not outperform public schools. So does the NY Times. Despite having 100% enrollment of kids with proactive parents, they do a little worse.

US Secretary of Education Margaret Spellings says they need more time. After all, it's only been six years since Michael Bloomberg got into office, and he still hasn't managed to bust a single union.

According to the articale, Albert Shanker came up with the notion of charter schools. I'm sure he did not envision them in the hands of demagogues like Eva Moskowitz. I can see a useful role for charters. Unfortunately, folks like Bloomberg and Spellings see them as nothing more than a battering-ram to be wielded against the inconvenience of unionism.

One only needs to observe the obscenely preferential treatment received by charters to see how little Mayor Mike values open public education.

Read more from Jim Horn at Schools Matter.

Thanks to reality-based educator

Blatant Discrimination

The Department of Education has not yet granted charters extra transportation money to cover Metrocards for kids in the Eva Moskowitz School (or other charters). They're using the flimsy excuse that since they start the school year earlier than public schools, they can't have extra funds.

Frankly, that's poppycock. If they were treating charters the same as public schools, why did billionaire Courtney Ross get a state-of-the-art facility while most city kids are just as liable to learn in bathrooms, closets, or hallways? Why isn't Mistress Eva's school in a buiding at 250% capacity, like mine?

And come to think of it, why isn't NYC Deputy Chancellor Alonso up on his hind legs screaming "no excuses," and demanding Mistress Eva get in her Range Rover and drive the kids to school herself?

Thanks to Schoolgal

Hey, Big Spender

Tired of that nasty teaching job?

Consider becoming a teacher trainer. Or a consultant. Or open up a testing company.

Because Chancellor Klein, who squeezes every penny fifty times before letting it trickle down to an educator, believes in granting no-bid contracts to people like that.

Millions and millions, and money is no object.

Sure beats working.

Update: The News story has generated outrage from several city politicians, who threaten hearings. Despite great personal distaste, ace tipster Schoolgal swears to follow the teacher-bashing Daily News for further developments, so we'll see what comes of this.

But please, let's sit while we wait.

Thanks to Schoolgal (for the headline too!)

Bad Taste Is Timeless

I used to work occasionally at parties with this guy who served genuine Texas barbecue. People raved about it. I tried it, and found it bland, nearly tasteless in fact. I thought the guy was a fraud. Now I've got a book called Roadfood, which recommends genuine barbecue joints all over the country (among many other things, and it's a great book).

We stopped at a genuine barbecue joint in Georgia a few weeks back, and I learned that genuine barbecue is indeed what the Texas guy was serving. I came to a very humiliating realization--I don't like genuine barbecue. Here in Orlando, on Semoral Drive and Curry Ford, there's a little Cuban joint in a strip mall called Martin's BBQ with ribs that I would fight you for. They cost maybe 8 bucks a pound.

Still, I'm truly ashamed not to appreciate such an important part of Americana. I thought I knew better.

If you go to Orlando, after you get ribs, shoot over to the coast to see Anna Maria Island, with beautiful green water that's as warm as your bathtub. Pick up a hotel discount book on a thruway, and be prepared to lay out up to 60 bucks a night for a hotel, or rent a 2-bedroom condo for 75 in nearby Bradenton. Look for Alvarez Mexican Restaurant on the way.

And check out Blue Spring State Park, on the St. John's River. It's mystical, beautiful, and incomparable. And just in case that ain't enough, bring charcoal and you can make your own barbecue (any style you like).

Tom Terrific

If you're planning to vote in the upcoming Democratic primary, you ought to know that Tom Suozzi has declared funding in NYC is a "moral crisis." Mr. Suozzi proposes, among other things, more charter school and raising aid to NYC by less than half of what the CFE lawsuit mandated.

His opponent, Eliot Spitzer, proposes to boost aid by close to the mandate (Mayor Bloomberg, the education mayor, has declared throught a representative his intention to contribute not one dime toward the NY State Supreme Court mandate). Suozzi says full funding will result in a tax hike. Spitzer says it won't.

Supremely ambitious Suozzi got my vote for Nassau County Executive. I was thrilled when he beat a party hack to get the nomination.

Furthermore, Suozzi is absolutely right that funding NYC is a moral crisis. That's why I'm voting for Spitzer, first in the primary, and then for governor.

The Obvious Eludes Alonso (Says Alonso)

The NY Times reports that minority students are declining in the most selective NYC schools. NYC Deputy Chancellor Andres Alonso finds this “extraordinarily surprising,” perhaps since it goes a long way toward contradicting his absurd contention that teachers are the sole factor in student achievement. Is race a factor?

Absolutely not. The influence of home and culture are factors, and American culture, from the lying, self-serving president on down, places little emphasis on personal responsibility (unless you feel blaming the poor for their poverty counts). Proactive parents are the single most valid predictor of academic success. Those working two or three jobs are far less likely to have time for their kids.

I've been shocked by some of the very, very cheap shots against Jonathon Kozol around the blogosphere. Impoverished individuals are playing perpetual catch-up and don't tend to have time to check their kids' homework.

There are certainly exceptions to this rule. I've seen kids come from awful homes who've used school as an escape from the chaos that generally rules their lives. I've also seen kids from very poor homes whose families knew and stressed the value of education. But to dismiss poverty as a factor is at best, idiotic, and at worst, a blatantly insincere mode of pointing the finger at working people.

NYC's 30-year policy of hiring teachers from the bottom of the barrel hasn't helped much either. Nor has Tweed's insistence on gimmicks and buzzwords in place of real solutions.

Only the Best Principals for our Precious Children

Anyone curious how much value the Bloomberg administration places on experience need only read this column by Samuel Freedman comparing the traditional route to principal with that of Klein's academy. It's truly incredible that Klein seems to value neither classroom experience, administrative experience, nor even a master's degree.

I'm struck, however, by this paragraph:

The upheaval in New York’s corps of 1,451 principals — more than half have resigned or retired in five years — cannot be laid entirely to Mr. Klein and his approach. Higher salaries in the suburbs, periodic buyout offers and protracted periods without a new contract have all contributed to the current situation.

Pardon me, Mr. Freeman, but isn't Klein responsible for the disparity in salary between the suburbs and the city? Isn't Klein responsible for the protracted periods without a contract? Isn't Klein responsible for any and all buyout offers that occurred under his tenure?

How come all talk of accountability begins and ends with teachers?

In fact, it's entirely Klein's fault we're using cut-rate, bargain-basement principals. The results are predictable: precisely the same as those thirty years of cut-rate, bargain-basement teachers have wrought.

Thanks to Schoolgal

Summer Diversions, Part 2

Whatever you do, don't download Gazillionaire.

You'll surely become addicted, as some of us here, and be compelled to shell out thirty bucks for the full version.

Even if you don't, the free version is great. One of the finest time-wasters since television.

Kleinspeak

Well, it's not all that surprising to find it in the NY Post op-ed page. The basis of Kleinspeak is this--teachers have more protections than many working people. The way to make life better for working people is to degrade those protections. You won't find anything in Murdoch's editorial pages suggesting that American workers, whose jobs have been under siege for many years, might benefit from more protection.

That would be socialism, I suppose.

And you'll find no suggestion from Joel Klein that the kids he mentions will ever grow up and become working people.

The civil-service system that forms the basis of public employment is deeply entrenched and resistant to change. The basic pillars of that system - life tenure, lock-step pay and seniority - essentially mean that, whether you are good or bad or whether you work in a more challenging or less challenging school or whether your are qualified to teach in a hard-to-fill position like math or science, you get paid the same, with differentiation based on length of service.

I love Klein's condemnation of "lockstep" pay. It's odd, though, that he and his boss insisted on lockstep pay when negotiating contracts not only with the UFT, but with every single city union. Lockstep pay, evidently, is a good thing when it ensures city workers get well under cost of living raises. It's bad, however, when it results in their actually being paid for experience.

Talk of quality employees is remarkable coming from the guy who went to Albany to beg for the right to hire and retain teachers who'd repeatedly failed competency tests (so that he wouldn't have to pay competitively). Bad teachers, evidently, are OK for NYC's kids as long as they aren't paid very much. If you accept that premise, you gotta love Klein and Bloomberg.

You'd think it wasn't the city that selected all teachers in the first place. You'd think that NYC, with similar contracts, wasn't one of the best school systems in the world until the city started experimenting with lowest-common-denominator intergalactic 800-number teacher recruitment.

Most of all, you'd think there weren't an abundance of successful public schools a stone's throw east of New York City that exercise high standards and have great schools full of great teachers. My kid attends one of those schools, and I see what works every day. Apparently, it never occurs to union-busters like Klein to replicate success. Klein looks at a successful school and thinks. "Boy, what a great place to dump the charter my billionaire buddy wants to start."

Fortunately, we are beginning to change the culture of employee uniformity. Our most recent agreement with the teachers' union puts an end to the practice of teachers being able to insist on transferring from one school to another based solely on their seniority.

However you may feel about it, the UFT transfer plan was bought with zero-percent raises. For Unity to toss it away without even getting cost-of-living in return was bad, bad business. Its loss will not help retain teachers, and the chancellor has not word one on that topic, further evidence it's, at best, meaningless to him.

In addition, we have begun the process of using pay to differentiate our employees based on need and talent. We have a bonus program for principals and assistant principals based on student performance. And now, for the first time, we are able to offer generous signing bonuses for experienced math, science and special education teachers.

I'd like to think experience were valued by the city, but this piece shows no evidence of that. Chancellor Klein also seems to forget that the CFE lawsuit, which stresses good teachers, decent facilities, and smaller classes for all NYC's kids is being blocked due to the refusal of his "accountable" boss to contribute dime one of NYC's budget towards its realization.

These are important first steps toward work-force differentiation. But make no mistake about it: We have a long road ahead of us. We need to create a real meritocracy to replace the civil-service culture of uniformity in public education. We need substantial merit pay, based on student performance, and a system that enables us to remove unsatisfactory employees.

It's time for the UFT to wake up. Klein's fondest wishes were spelled out in the 8-page contract that reduced teachers to the status of Wal-Mart associates. Though he's using prettier words, that's precisely what he's advocating here. Klein talks of accountability, but spells out viable consequences only for working people. Despite his many words, they're the only ones remotely "accountable."

Educators are one of the very last bastions of unionism in a country that increasingly values nothing more than relieving Steve Forbes' tax bill. If you don't happen to be Steve Forbes, the way to create opportunity for your kids is by strengthening, not crippling unionism. We need a strong union, one that recognizes the folly of giving away the store for less than nothing.

The first step to that is getting rid of the folks who brought us this awful, awful contract.

Thanks to 17 More Years

Looking for Adventure?

Why not try teaching in China? You'll meet interesting people, learn a new language, and experience new and exciting working conditions.

"A number of substandard English language teaching mills have sprung up, seeking to maximize profits while minimizing services," the US House of Representatives International Relations Committee said in a recent report on Russell's case. These institutes have become virtual "`sweatshops' where young, often naive Americans are held as virtual indentured servants."

Tempted? Well then, read on:

In one case, an American ended up dead. Darren Russell, 35, from Calabasas, California, died under mysterious circumstances days after a dispute caused him to quit his teaching job in the southern city of Guangzhou.

"I'm so scared. I need to get out of here," Russell said in a message left on his father's cellphone hours before his death in what Chinese authorities said was a traffic accident.

I don't know about you, but I'd have a lawyer look over any contract I signed before going to a foreign country to work. I'd also make sure it was in a language I understood, and that it could be enforced. American teachers, while most come back alive, were subject to many sleazy surprises:

One school "piled on classes without compensation, dragged their feet on repairing leaks in her apartment and would deduct sums from her US$625 monthly salary for random taxes and phone calls that were never made. These ranged from US$30 to US$85..."

Perhaps kids, who look to video games for adventure, are often smarter than we are. Better to lose twenty bucks on a mediocre Playstation game than a year of your life, or worse.

Thanks to Schoolgal

The Bottom Line on Teacher Retention

I keep reading about teacher retention. The AFT magazine is veritably obsessed with it, and some fellow bloggers wonder what we can do about it. I look at the problem, which admittedly is serious, and I look at the actions of the DoE and the UFT, and there's really only one conclusion to be reached--the powers that be are fine with it.

Imagine you're just coming off a thirty-year teacher shortage. For all that time, the city gleefully lowered standards as low as it could to fill as many chairs as possible. Chancellor Klein, despite much talk otherwise, did the same. Do you find it a logical conclusion the heart of the problem is high pay and work that's too easy?

Well, Chancellor Klein and UFT President Randi Weingarten clearly seem to have backed that conclusion. Otherwise, how could they have endorsed the last contract, which complicated the job, while failing even to keep up with inflation?

In the past, for example, teachers could transfer from one school to another. In the past, teachers could get other jobs if they lost the ones they had. Now, they have to be approved by Klein's army of Jack Welch-principals. Sure, that way principals can veto bad teachers. There's no denying they can also veto a whole lot of other teachers as well.

In all liklehood, they'll weed out teachers who've got a bunch of years under their belts, who inconveniently receive those higher salaries that, apparently, are a great obstacle to kids learning. Now they can be sent out as wandering subs indefinitely (or more likely, till the next contract, when they'll all be let go, with the blessings of Unity hacks everywhere).

Teacher retention? Every teacher who leaves in two years, or five years, gets no pension. Every teacher who leaves in two years, or five years, gets no benefits. Teachers who leave early are an integral part of the system, contributing mightily to both stadiums and charter schools for needy billionaires.

That's why Klein's incentives get people in, but don't bother to keep them there.

How could the entrenched, self-serving and impotent Unity party continue to get re-elected by a group of career teachers?

That's why it endorses incentive that get people in, but don't bother to keep them there.

It's a thing of beauty, akin to "You can't teach, and they can't learn, so we decided to put you together."

Condo Complex Has Everything (Almost)

Mayor Mike must be excited about the new East Side condo complex. There will be seven new high-rise residential buildings, and one new commercial building. The current residents of the area don't much care for the plan, as it will bring 10,000 new residents to their area.

They think 10,000 extra residents will cause overcrowding, as there is no subway, and the buses are already overcowded. What a bunch of crybabies. Can't they find alternate transportation? I mean, let's not go overboard. Why charter a helicopter when a simple limo will do? And if you must charter a helicopter, carpool for goodness sakes.

The other thing this new community lacks is a school, and the locals are whining about that as well. Now why on earth would anyone rich enough to buy into this development send their kids to public schools? Everyone knows that's for the bootless and unhorsed. You don't see Joel Klein or Mayor Mike sending their kids to public schools, for goodness sakes.

There will be "some affordable housing," whatever "some" means, and whatever "affordable" means. I suppose those who can only afford "affordable" can fight for spots in 200 plus percent capacity schools.

Remember, in NYC it's always "chidren first."

Just not your children.

Thanks to Patrick

Adios, Night School

Mayor Mike has quietly killed night school, so if your kids fall asleep in class, they'll need a better excuse. The city expects to save 4 million dollars,previously frittered away on teacher salaries, with this measure. Principals will now be able to apply for funds for new programs.

As everyone knows, new programs are far better than old programs. That's why Mayor Mike and Uncle Joel don't waste their time insisting on good teachers or decent facilities for NYC's 1.1 million kids.

Why spend money on teachers? Why create a state-of-the-art school building on space that could be used for condos? Why give nice buidlings to indigent children when there are billionaires in need of stadiums and charter schools?

Get real, New York.

Thanks to Schoolgal

I and I Give U a U

Things are great in NYC, if you ask Chancellor Klein. He's now actually got more than one applicant for many teaching jobs. So he no longer needs to grovel in Albany for the right to hire and retain sub-standard teachers in order to fill those ancient wooden chairs without paying a competitive salary. Yup, President Bush's ongoing war against the middle class is pretty much an answer to his prayers.

So Klein's let the principals know it's time to start rating teachers unsatisfactory, in order to give the impression he actually cares about teacher quality. The NY Post reports "U" ratings have increased by 70% over the last four years.

Apparently the Jack Welch-trained principal academy graduates are better at finding fault than their counterparts. Also, it seems easier to rate teachers unsatisfactory now that the bold, visionary leadership of the UFT has given up the right to grieve letters in teachers' files.

According to UFT propagandist Leo Casey, the right to appeal was relatively meaningless, since the UFT was so inept at resolving them. Why he felt that was worth boasting about is beyond me, but I somehow doubt teachers who received "U" ratings are singing his praises right about now.

Naturally, our fearless leader spoke out:

That spike troubled the president of the United Federation of Teachers, Randi Weingarten, who suggested a correlation between the jump and a growing number of rookie principals, particularly those trained at the city-run Leadership Academy.

"The anecdotes we hear from the field are that principals from [the academy] do not respect experience," Weingarten said. "The moment a teacher says, 'I know how to teach,' principals from the institute will actually threaten them with a u-rating."

Ya know, comments like this make me wonder why none of this occurred to Randi before she supported giving Bloomberg total control. They make me wonder what on earth she was thinking when she gave up the right to grive letters in files, along with a grab-bag of goodies for this mayor for a contract that didn't even meet cost-of-living.

Education Department spokesman Keith Kalb acknowledged that the increase in u-ratings has coincided with the implementation of Mayor Bloomberg school reforms, but added that the reforms "always focused on accountability at all levels."

Meaning, of course, accountablity by teachers alone. I honestly doubt they're actually targeting bad teachers, of whom there are plenty, thanks to 30 years of the lowest standards the law would allow.

Thanks to Schoolgal

Double Messages from the Mouse

Here in the happiest place on earth, there's an awful lot of talk about the environment. Yesterday, a young woman asked my daughter, "What can your dad do with that water bottle to help the environment?"

My daughter dutifully replied, "He could recycle it."

Yet after two days of walking up and down Animal Kingdom and Epcot, I've yet to encounter a single recycling bin. How many plastic bottles do you suppose Disney sells in a day? How many do you suppose recycle them, I wondered, as I dumped mine in the trash.

Today, Simba the lion told us a tear-jerking tale about how man has done terrible things to the world, and urged his two companions (Hakuna and Matata?) about how they should not develop the jungle with their money-making scheme.

Driving around the ex-swamp (or whatever it was) that is now Orlando, I couldn't help but notice the huge gap between Disney's words and actions.

Simba's exhibition was full of happy talk about the environment, and how many people are driving bicyles. But all around me were highly overpriced pieces of plastic, probably made in China under God only knows what conditions. And Disney, by refusing to release Fahrenheit 451, helped enable a bunch of crooks who were the worst thing to happen to the environment since New Jersey.

Don't get me wrong, I love Disney World, as do the kids with whom I'm traveling.

But you better not think too much if you really want to enjoy yourself there.

Another of Life's Mysteries

Today we took my young daughter and her cousin to Animal Kingdom at Walt Disney World. While my wife sent me on a mission to get a Fastpass for the Everest Expedition (which none of us actually had the guts to ride), the kids each went to a souvenir shop and bought eleven-dollar autograph books.

This grieved me deeply. First of all, it's rough getting through these parks with young kids dragging you every which way. Stopping for autographs was an inconvenience I hadn't planeed for. Worse, there was no way I could get them to understand that the "autographs" were actually being signed by highly unfortunate individuals whose jobs entailed wearing furry animal suits on 97-degree days.

So now, my daughter and her cousin have the signatures of B'rer Bear, Goofy, Mickey and Minnie Mouse (who, like the Clintons, weren't actually together--maybe there's a story there), and a couple of Disney characters I couldn't identify.

And they are happy, happy, happy, despite my cries of "Bah humbug."

So now, I understand a little better why 60% of UFT teachers voted for a contract involving tons of givebacks that didn't meet cost of living. I gotta get to work teaching my kid not to do things like that.

On the Road

Now why would someone walk into a restaurant wearing a shirt bearing this legend:

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a being an asshole problem.

It brought all sorts of responses to my mind, none of which I spoke in front of the two kids with whom I'm traveling. I'll do you the courtesy of not repeating them here either.

And why would a bottle of lemonade proudly boast "Contains 0% fruit juice?"

The other thing that I keep wondering about is the appeal of convertibles. When the thermostat says high nineties, why does the guy in front of me want to ride around with the top down. Admittedly it looks cool.

But I gotta think every car with AC on was cooler.

Thanks to Norm for the sandwich, which beats much of what's available on the road.

News Flash--Bloomberg Says He's Doing a Great Job

In an op-ed piece in the LA Times, NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg and Chicago Mayor Richard M. Daley discuss mayoral takeover in LA.

There's a brief reference to rising test scores, which is moderately impressive if you ignore concurrently declining test scores, but the piece consists of largely vague and unverifiable statements about non-specific improvements.

We have brought back standards, empowered principals, improved safety and created innovative programs to support struggling students and schools. In addition, we have been able to allocate resources far more efficiently and effectively, shifting money out of the central bureaucracy and into the classroom.

Neither of the two mayors can be bothered to give specific examples how they achieved any of these things. From my vantage point at a 250% capacity high school, I'd like to have seen them.

From what I've read, Bloomberg greatly cut bureaucracy, then turned around and extended it. Klein, his able stooge, cut wasteful professional development (meriting rare applause), then reinstated and expanded it (earning yet another Bronx cheer).

Any reform proposal can always be criticized as less than perfect.

It's odd, then, that they seem to have described it as the greatest thing since sliced bread. When I got up at one of many PR meetings that masqueraded as professional development, and asked one of Klein's flunkies why they had not addressed the fundamental dysfunction of our system, he responded "Well, we had to do something."

I find that a remarkably unimpressive retort. You could have done something effective.

I don't see anything in this piece about quality teachers, decent facilities, or smaller classes. That's not surprising, because Mayor Micahel Bloomberg has openly refused to contribute dime one to the CFE lawsuit that would provide these things.

Mayor Bloomberg prefers shortcuts, gimmicks, and sleight of hand. Stadiums are expensive, and you'll never get them built if you fritter away dollars on kids who don't matter.

Thanks to Schoolgal

Paris Hilton Gives Up Sex for a Year

She says she'll kiss, but nothing else. I can only imagine how disappointed you all must be.

I think she's simply waiting for the repeal of the estate tax. What's an orgasm or two compared to all that money? And make no mistake, that money is bound for Paris, her ilk, and no one else.

Leona Helmseley was right. Taxes are for the "little people." Like you, me, and our children.

It's Magic

Got a problem? Make a new law.

From now on there will be no more snow on weekends. From now on, there will be no more power failures on hot days. From now on, everyone will speak only perfect American English.

A long time ago, immigrants would be given IQ tests and classified as retarded. Well, their scores were no good, weren't they?

In a typical and predictable act, the federal government has declared that testing the English ability of third to eighth-grade ESL students was unacceptable. They must be tested the same way native speakers are tested. They will, therefore, know just as much English as we do.

By magic.

In my school, maybe 90% of the kids who took the NY State English Regents exam passed. Only 55% of the ESL students passed the same test. This was regarded by our administration as a failure that must be corrected. Personally, I didn't buy that. What could they expect? The kids didn't know English. Still, it was regarded by the federal government as a failure that must be replicated wherever possible.

Previously, students who had been in an American school for fewer than three years were exempt from the regular test.

That's not good enough for Margaret Spellings.

Perhaps Ms. Spellings ought to fly to Korea, study for one year, and try to get through college. If my students can do it, why can't she? Here's why, actually:

Christine Rossell, a professor of political science at Boston University, called the federal law completely unrealistic and illogical when applied to students with limited English skills.

Dr. Rossell said students should be tested upon entering school, but the results not used for compliance with the federal law until a child has been in an American school for five years.

Making high school ESL students take the Regents exam was a terrible idea. Because we had to teach them to pass the test, there was often no room on their programs to study English. They can't pass the test until they know English. But they won't have space to study English until they pass the test. Don't worry, though. Margaret Spellings will fix it. With the same magic Rumsfeld's been using in Iraq.

Here's one more thing you won't read in the Times--teachers like me can sometimes use little tricks and show kids with little English how to pass the Regents exam.

But they still won't know English. We can do better for these kids.

Unfortunately, the US government wants, needs, and demands failure in public schools, which happen to be a huge and inconvenient drag on Steve Forbes' tax bill.

You may as well go back to giving them IQ tests in a language they don't understand.

Meanwhile, you want good test scores? You want a good school? Just keep the ESL students out.

That'll be the next big thing. In schools that utilize that approach, scores will skyrocket. NYC Schools Chancellor Klein will praise the principals of those schools, lambast the teachers in the others, and claim victory for mayoral control.

But he believes in magic. And, like Margaret Spellings, he wants you to believe in it too.

Do you believe in magic?

Thanks to Schoolgal and Norm

NYC Educator's Mailbag

Narda asks:

Is Eva Moskowitz the Antichrist?

Well Narda, here at NYC Educator we kid Ms. Moskowitz, but it's all in good fun. Just because you're a self-serving serial liar, it does not necessarily follow that you're the Antichrist. Let's try not to jump to conclusions.

Sure, she held hearings and labeled unions responsible for all the ills of the city school system. Sure , she ignored the fact that the city actually does all the hiring, chose to use the lowest standard for teachers in the entire state, as well as the fact that the union has no part in rating teachers.

Yes, she ignored the multitude of union schools in Nassau that pay teachers well, are highly selective, and achieve excellence through good teachers and higher standards. And it's certainly true that when NYC had the highest standard for teachers in the state, and the highest pay for teachers in the state, they had the best schools in the state. However, let's not blame Eva for that. All union-busters need us to ignore history.

It is indeed true also that she endorsed a contract that eviscerated all the rights of union employees, and that no union (even ours) would have approved it.

It's also true that she regularly recites falsehoods about the contract (the six-hour forty-minute day, the inability to assign teacher to lunch duty), which she can't be bothered researching, and that she freely misrepresents her school as paying her teachers more. Actually they work more and make substantially less than union employees. She avoids hiring experienced teachers because she would really have to pay them. It's also true that there's no way in hell she wants to run a union shop, and that she wants to become mayor, crush unionism, and help ensure no one in New York City can ever make it to middle class again.

How does that help children? I have no idea. But that's sort of the American way nowadays.

If you read The Chalkboard the day before yesterday (and you should read it every day), you might think that lazy teachers should stop complaining about coming in before Labor Day and go start their own schools. I've no doubt Ms. Moskowitz would heartily endorse this notion. After all, they should count themselves lucky to be working more hours and more days for less than cost of living. Who the hell do they think they are asking to be compensated for more work? No doubt Eva, a driven politician who can't refrain from mentioning her desire to be mayor when ostensibly discussing her school, works 200 hours a week.

I know many working teachers, though, who have their own children to care for, and who did not actually go into teaching to become entrepreneurs. The entrepreneurial streak, in fact, is rare among teachers. People who went into teaching expecting to become rich, I'd posit, are so poorly informed they'd make poor teachers, and I wouldn't buy stock in their charters. Of course some teachers could run their own schools, and do it very well. I'd say, though, it would be preferable for them to make such decisions on their own.

As for Eva, being a union-buster does not precisely make her Satan. You're right--listening to her, you'd think the city's thirty-year teacher shortage and inability to retain staff were the result of too little work for too much pay. And sure, she spells like Dan Quayle. But no, that doesn't specifically make her the Antichrist.

Sure, here at NYC Educator, we kid, we kid. But let's not get carried away.

Thank you, Narda, for your excellent question, and please feel free to write anytime.

Summer Diversion

NYC Educator recommends the brand-new instrumental album by Ricky Skaggs and Kentucky Thunder.

It's beautiful--with influences of bluegrass, blues, jazz, and American and Irish traditional music. These are all new tunes, and it seems like Ricky composed them himself. The arrangements are thoughtful, lively, and beautiful. The musicians, including Ricky, are among the best on God's green earth.

Order it from Ricky himself for only $11.99 with free shipping.

Full disclosure: NYC Educator does not own stock in Skaggs Family Records.

Let Them Eat Cake

While 1.1 million New York City students get by on scraps, and 75% of NYC's high schools suffer from overcrowding, billionaire Courtney Ross gets to reject sites for her charter school. The NEST school, largely improved and supported by NYC parents, was not the first choice after all.

Before opting for space at NEST, the founder of Ross, Courtney Sales Ross, had been shown space on the top floor of P.S. 147 on Bushwick Avenue in the remote eastern reaches of Williamsburg, Brooklyn, across from a housing project.

Ms. Ross rejected that space.

If this doesn't prove that Ms. Ross's charter is more important to Bloomberg than the schools the overwhelming majority of NYC kids attend, I don't know what does.

Here's a comment from Norm Scott:

The space at PS 147 in Williamsburg in Brooklyn (not the fancy part) that Courtney Sales Ross rejected included the amazingly large space of the classroom I taught in for 27 years on the 4th floor. The entire floor is empty of kids now except for the computer lab. An old building but in fabulous shape with high ceilings and big rooms, yet Ross tried to squeeze into NEST with the support of Klein when the PS 147 space was clearly empty and available. Then she gets further rewarded with space at Tweed.

Why did Ross reject this space? Maybe because she would have to accept kids from the projects across the street? Or maybe the neighborhood is just not chi-chi enough for Ms. Ross? Poor dear. She would have had to go into Brooklyn to visit her school.

Actually, it doesn't much matter to me why she rejected it. The fact that she had such an option, while I teach in trailers behind a building at 250% capacity, shows clearly that "Children First" doesn't actually apply to those attending public schools.

It also takes a great deal of wind out of the sails of those who called the parents of the NEST kids racist for fighting this mayor. They worked to make a great school and wanted to preserve it. Despite the lip service this administration pays to parental involvement, when these parents actually put hundreds of thousands of their own dollars into a school they loved, what was Mayor Bloomberg's response?

He tried to cut it into pieces. Thanks, Mayor Bloomberg. Doubtless scores of parents will work to improve the decrepit buildings you offer their children, so that you can give them away to petulant billionaires.

It's the trickle-down theory. If you aren't a billionaire, don't forget your umbrella.

Mayor Mike and the Very Sunny Day

Poor Chaz. Out there in the sweltering unbearable heat trying to motivate teenagers to learn biology. Everyone knows it's too hot for biology. But wait, maybe there's hope---here's a notice from the DoE:

ALERT: Due to heat conditions, summer school attendance is optional on Wednesday, August 2 and Thursday, August 3 -

In anticipation of a severe heat wave, please be advised that attendance at Summer School on Wednesday, August 2nd is not mandatory. Students will not be penalized for being absent on that day. Parents' familiarity with their child's health and physical condition should help them determine whether or not to send their child to school. Please note that the school will be open, teachers and supervisors will be present, and classes will be in session on Wednesday. Parents should contact their Parent Coordinator if they have any questions.

Uh-oh. Bad luck for Chaz. While Tweed, from its air-conditioned offices, has deemed being out and about unfit for ordinary humans, it's apparently no problem for New York City teachers. This should come as little surprise from the cool mayor who recently announced we ought to thank the head of Con Ed for leaving parts of Queens with no electricity for days.

I can only imagine what those poor folks in Astoria are thinking right now.

This is nothing new, however. Mayor Mike is following in the illustrious footsteps of his predecessor, Saint Rudy, hallowed be his name.

I remember a very snowy day about a dozen years ago. I was on the Long Island Expressway. Cars were crashing to my right. Cars were crashing to my left. Mayor Giuliani got on the radio and said, "Don't come into work today unless you absolutely have to." Yet the schools remained open. I posted the mayor's words as the quote of the day for the handful of intrepid souls who placed learning English above their personal safety.

I shouldn't criticize, since clearly I must have been just as crazy as they were.

Thanks to 17 More Years

Not to be Missed

Here's a new take on charter schools, just published at the ICE-UFT blog:

Any charter school study that compares a charter school with local non-magnet elementary or high schools is biased and statistically invalid.

Norm Scott, public nuisance extraordinare, tells why. Like Norm, I like the idea of small, innovative schools. Using them as battering rams against existing public schools and unionism , as demogues like Moskowitz and Klein do, is another matter entirely.

When I See an Elephant Fly

While kids in my school are rolled in like sardines, New York City has taken 110 Livingston Street, the former headquarters of the Board of Education, and turned it into condos. To make space for these condos, Mayor Mike is sending us an extra 200 kids next year. Thanks Mayor Mike! Your devotion to these kids is the stuff of legend.

With 75% of the city's high schools overcrowded, I'd have thought it might be sensible to use a building like this to relieve it. But Mayor Mike can still find first-class homes for charters run by billionaires, so it's no biggie.

The project is aptly named DUMBO, a fitting description for anyone who still believes public schools are a priority for this mayor.

Thanks to Norm.

Gone, but Not Forgotten

Who woulda thunk that Eva M. reads this little blog? Apparently she does, though, since soon after I pointed out her third-grade style spelling error, she went back and corrected it.

You'd think she'd send a commission, or at least a thank you note for kindly pointing out her error. I mean, here I am, a lowly New York City public-school teacher, and I caught something that escaped her entire highly-trained staff, every one of whom is far more competent than I could ever hope to be.

Since she didn't, however, I'll leave her original here for posterity.

Thanks to Kombiz, who captured this image. And thanks to sharp-eyed SE Martin, for noticing the correction.

The Mission of the Eva Moskowitz School...

From Eva's website ---under "Our Mission--scroll to "integrity":

"We teach Success Scholars to be honest and honerable...."

Personally, I wouldn't send my kid to a school with that mission statement. Aside from the spelling, it's redundant.

Furthermore, Poster DB informs us that only 2 members of Eva's high-quality instructional staff graduated before 2000, and that they work almost 9 hours per day for those free massages.

You'd think folks that young, if they'd yet to master spelling, would at least know how to use spell-check.

Update: Eva's corrected this---but not before we got a screenshot.

Ferris Wheel Carnival

The Ferris carnival is here.

Okay, not exactly here, but over at This Week in Education. That's Ed Ferris on the left, blowing out the candles to celebrate.

Get $5,000 AND a Back Rub, with Absolutely No Obligation! Step Right Up!

There's a fascinating post on The Chalkboard today, involving the Eva Moskowitz Charter School. Apparently, Eva appreciates her teachers so much that's she's bought them back massages. Not only that, but "as a rule" they earn "at least $5,000 above the salary scale of the city's public schools."

She told them of their free massages after they had "completed three weeks of intense professional development this past Friday..."

Wait a minute. That's three weeks work for a massage? Or is the 5K for three weeks of extra work? Or is it for coming yet another week early, on August 21st, to start teaching? Or is it for the longer school day that Eva boasts about in every interview? Or is it for accepting charter health benefits, which don't equal ours? Could it be for having no pension?

Or could it be for being "at will" employees, with no rights whatsoever, able to be fired at any moment for any reason, or indeed for no reason whatsoever? Do you suppose Eva would pay a 20-year teacher what a 20-year teacher makes in a union school?

If charters really wanted to show appreciation, they'd allow their employees to exercise their right to choose whether or not they wanted to unionize. It's frankly disingenuous to compare Eva's work schedule and benefits to those of city teachers (let alone their suburban counterparts), and assert they're paid more. Compare their hours, their benefits, and their working conditions and I've no doubt they're paid less by any rational standard.

Keep your back rub, Mistress Eva. I wouldn't trade places with one of your teachers on a bet. Let me know when you pay 5K more than suburban schools. I still won't believe you.

Anything that sounds too good to be true, is.

Time to Examine Our Priorities

Aside from guiding us into an unnecessary war on false pretenses, attempting to dismantle our public education system, giving huge tax breaks to bazillionaires during wartime, torturing prisoners, and mounting taxpayer-funded propaganda campaigns, there are those who say the GOP is doing a great job running the country.

Except maybe for having the oil companies write energy policies. Of course, then there's the stem-cell veto, and the secondary war on facts, including those that have been scientifically proven long ago.

Though the Scopes trial was over 80 years ago, evolution is still a hot issue in Kansas. It appears that evolution-backers are poised to challenge the folks who believe the world is 6,000 years old, and that dinosaurs and people were once neighbors. Let's hope they prevail.

Other topics they differ on include sex-education. I've read right-wing pieces claiming that condom use does not protect people against STDs like AIDS. This country is backward enough as it is. It's time we accept science, though, no matter how much we my have dreaded it in high school.

Showdown in Detroit

Detroit has issued an ultimatum to its teachers--they have to come up with 88 million in savings for the city and raises are out of the question. The teachers are standing firm and threatening a strike in September.

It would be easy for many to say "those greedy teachers" and condemn unionism for giving them the power to stand together. But New York teachers have heard this song before, and it doesn't play well with us.

We accepted zeroes from Giuliani in what turned out to be one of the biggest economic booms in the history of the city. The last contract we took, while Bloomberg was sitting on billions, included massive givebacks of time, perks, and rights, and failed to even meet the inflation rate. Bloomberg claimed the surplus would soon disappear. When it increased instead, he still gave DC37 less than cost of living.

Perhaps Detroit is different. But in New York, during rough times, public employees take one for the team. During good times, they simply take another.

Thanks to Schoolgal

Storms in Teacups

There are a lot of words flying around about the UFT's threat of no contract-no work. They made themselves a target with that threat. First of all, the threat is bogus.

It's utter nonsense, in fact, designed to persuade rank-and-file that Unity means business, which is only true if you interpret that to mean "business-as-usual." And it's utterly irresponsible of self-serving Unity hacks to toss around idle threats. Every good teacher knows the folly of making threats you're not prepared to follow through.

The fact is Unity values the dues checkoff far more than the well-being of teachers, kids, or anyone on God's green earth. How could they sit around the UFT office and collect 6 figures a year, and go on all-expenses-paid junkets to Hawaii or the west coast without our money?

Still, by arrogantly exercising their mouths before engaging their brains, they've given the folks with whom they constantly argue a lot to talk about. I'd like to particularly address a very clever point made by Joe Williams of The Chalkboard.

Joe's out of sorts because the charter cap has been reached, and he says Sheldon Silver won't raise it unless they agree to unionize new charters. Personally, I support unionizing new charters. I'd settle, however, for a card check, in which the teachers could vote on whether or not they want union.

Joe makes a stronger point, though, inspired by the empty threats of the self-serving UFT leadership. Don't hold your breath for a substantive response from Unity hacks:

When teachers, school boards, and the general public were first pitched the merits of collective bargaining in the 1960's and 1970's, it was supposed to be one of the grandest win-wins of all time...

So... what happened? In places like NYC that have had collective bargaining for 40 years, teachers are still pissed off...

Is this the best we can do for teachers and students?? Is it possible there is a better way to do this??

First of all, "collective bargaining" does not traditionally entail the Taylor Law, which is designed to cripple labor's power to negotiate. One result of the Taylor Law, which imposes draconian penalties on employees but none whatsoever on management, is that contract negotiations drag on for years. Why should the city sign? Better to wait a few years, and save up for stadiums.

Not only are teachers pissed off at this sort of treatment, but so are cops, firefighters, and virtually all city workers, except those of DC37, who seem to revel in more work for less pay. Of course when you consider their documented history of fraudulent contract votes, that may not be the case. It got very brief press coverage, though, and did not seem to outrage the otherwise perpetually incensed Mayor Giuliani.

You don't see this sort of anger in suburban schools, which actually grant cost-of-living raises to employees.

If you consider what city teachers made before unionization, which I've read in today's dollars would be around $14,000, you see that, despite what the UFT has rotted into, teachers do far better today. If you read about Nicole Byrne Lau, you see that there are definite benefits to unionization. Ms. Lau, no fool, vowed never to work in a non-union shop again.

There is a better way, and it begins by voting out the folks who currently own our union. Like the folks who run our country, they shun democracy. When the will of the union threatens them, they simply change the rules to suit themselves. High school teachers voting non-Unity? Throw their votes into a larger pool. Stop voting for Unity employees and let the Prez hand-pick 'em. Like the folks who run our country, prison is where they belong.

Still, even with their bag of dirty tricks, they're gonna have to do better to get re-elected. For anyone curious about available alternatives to union, check out Klein's 8-page contract, which leaves us with no rights whatsoever. Of course we can do better.

But it's not gonna happen until we toss out the monopoly leadership.

5 Posts You Shouldn't Miss

1. Sapient Sutler quotes children.

2. April May describes a rafting trip, and reveals the secret of halting tiresome complaints from children.

3. Get on the Bus debunks John Tierney.

4. I Thought a Think takes on Mort Kondracke, by cracky.

5. School Me shows not all gumballs are equal.

Semesters of Our Lives Chapter 14

It Was a Dark and Stormy Night...

Richard got into his ancient Mercury, and started driving. He was a little nervous about trying to climb into a house, but it wasn’t the most ridiculous thing he’d ever tried, particularly since he’d become a teacher. More importantly, it seemed like the only way he’d ever get to be alone with Jennifer.

Richard had been having a bad year. When he’d arrived back from Europe, he went to see his girlfriend, who he’d assumed had been waiting, informed him she’d found a new, better boyfriend.

“You left for Europe,” she’d told him. “You didn’t tell me when you were coming back, or even if you were coming back. Did you really think I was going to sit and wait?”

“I was hoping,” he’d told her, a response which did not impress her in the least, and here he was, driving around in rain so heavy he could barely see through the windshield.

He cleverly stopped the car a few houses away from hers, so that her aunt wouldn’t suspect. As he walked to her house, he considered how much more clever it would’ve been if he’d brought an umbrella or a raincoat. As he feet sank several inches into the mud that now comprised Jennifer’s lawn, he wondered if tennis shoes, though generally comfortable, had been the best choice for this mission.

Richard was getting cold, as the freezing rain had soaked through his sweatshirt. But he was determined to continue. When he reached the house, he grabbed onto the window frame, which came off of the house, causing him to fall backwards into the mud.

Richard shouted an expletive, which the noise of the rain prevented the neighbors from hearing. He began to push himself up, but lost his traction and fell once again.

Undaunted, he tossed away the now useless piece of frame, which left him with an irritating splinter he did not have time to tend to. He carefully tested another piece of the frame, which seemed sturdy, and managed to pull his muddy miserable carcass up the wall so that his muddy wet feet were resting just outside the windowsill of Jennifer’s crazy aunt's home.

He found a hook on the wall, and managed to pull himself up. It was working! He was almost at the top. He could see the dormer, and he could see Jennifer smiling at him through the window. He got a firmer grip on the ancient piece of gutter.

There. This was good. It was perfect. It was just a little loose, though. It was coming apart—Uh oh.

Richard fell down the side of the house into the mud. He hit his arm on something and wasn’t feeling all that good.

Through the corner of his eye, he saw a figure climb down the wall like an iguana. It was uncanny. It was Jennifer.

“Oh Dios mio, are you OK Richard?”

“My arm doesn’t feel so good,” he told her.

“Give me your car keys,” she said.

“But…”

“No buts. Just give me the keys.”

Jennifer helped Richard to his feet, and in what seemed like a very long walk, led him to his car. Then she drove him to the emergency room.

Next Week: The Assembly

Cheapskates Rejoice

There are numerous discounts available to DoE employees, among them substantial savings on several brands of cell-phone service.

While I don't own stock, consider that Cingular is a union shop. In any case, you can apply for discounts on your existing service if your provider is listed.

It's All About Pointing that Finger

Dr. Andres Alonso is the new head of instruction in New York City Schools. He doesn't care for kids being called "at risk." He's had it with tired old excuses. (The kid can't read. The kid fights with classmates. The kid repeatedly assaulted me. The kid's parents tie him to a table and use him as a sex toy.) Enough with the blah, blah, blah. If kids don't pass, it's exclusively your fault.

And don't bring up that tired old nonsense about the city hiring substandard teachers since 1976. Or the whining about Bloomberg refusing to support the CFE suit designed to give kids quality teachers, lower class size, and decent facilities. That's your fault too.

Poverty has no role whatsoever in whether or not kids can learn, according to Dr. Alonso. The fact that the worst schools tend to reside in impoverished neighborhoods worldwide can be attributed to coincidence. And bad teachers, of course, who apparently wake up in the morning and say "I think I'll find the worst neighborhood possible and get a job teaching there." Why they're drawn to such places is one of life's enduring mysteries.

Dr. Alonso took legal custody of one of his former students, a 15-year-old. That's a curious move, since parents, according to his philosophy, play no role whatsoever in the welfare of their children. Why didn't he simply change the kid's teachers, since they are the one and only factor in child development?

Thanks to Schoolgal and Norm

The Perfect Team

Here's an idea that NYC Schools Chancellor Klein would love (so don't tell him). In Osaka, Japan, principals will now be able to build educational teams by trading teachers. Need a chemistry teacher? I'll trade for a football coach.

Maybe if you have a really good football coach, you could swap for two math teachers and a cash bonus. The possibilities are endless.

Thanks to Schoolgal.

Why Don't Ya Just Get a Job Already?

While perusing reality-based educator, I couldn't help but notice that instead of the subversive commie propaganda I've come to expect from him, he actually wrote about education. RBE was discussing this story, about a charter kindergarten where the kids have no toys, no blocks, and spend their time doing grammar drills, phonics drills, arithmetic drills, and the like.

Now when I was in kindergarten, we spent a great deal of time blowing bubbles in our milk, and several of us actually turned out alright. Still, things are different nowadays.

My daughter had to take a multi-day standardized test in kindergarten called Terra Nova. She got excellent reading scores, which I found curious since she most certainly did not know how to read. A further look at her scores, though, left me in some distress--she had no language skills whatsoever. Naturally, it being a standardized test, I believed every word of it, and focused all blame on her teacher (OK, not really).

The teacher explained to me that this pattern was the same with most of the class. They took the "reading" test the first day,and the "language" test the last, by which time their 5-year-old attention spans had pretty much had it.

I thought that was taking things a bit too far. Achievement First East New York Charter School takes things even further, and the kids, apparently, are being trained to read at that age. I don't have any problem with that, but I'd like to very little kids eased into it a little more.

I liked my kid's kindergarten teacher very much, and got the feeling she shared my sentiments about the Terra Nova. It's a mistake to neglect socialization and play for young children. While my child was taught the alphabet in kindergarten, along with letter sounds, she spent a lot of time playing, and learning how to get along with her classmates. She formed a positive attitude about school that she still carries.

Pressing for too much too early can have bad results. I often think of one of my college students, a bright, soft-spoken and charming young woman, who told me her parents forced her to practice piano several hours a day from the time she was five. She was not permitted to stop until she left her country and came to New York. She adored New York, and hated music.

As for the charter, even the teacher had mixed feelings:

“Achievement First gives them a solid foundation,” she said.

But even as she took pride in her students’ progress, Mrs. Rattray betrayed ambivalence about the method. “If it were my own child,” she said, “I would want more time for play.”

Hope she doesn't get fired for that.

The Stossel Primer

Go, John, go.

See John go.

John goes.

John goes down.

See John go down.

Down, John, down.

When pro-wrestler David Schultz punches your frigging face out.

Unity vs. the Nazis

Unity patronage mill workers have a lot on their plates. First of all, imagine all the work it takes to manage two pensions. Also, UFT HQ is now open an entire extra hour a week. Finally, they need to write all those columns on Edwize letting us know what a great job they do.

The Unity employee who runs Edwize claimed no one gets paid for writing those columns. But if Leo "6-figure" Casey, for example, spends business hours sitting in the UFT building, making 50% more than any working teacher, and writing for Edwize, it seems to me that we are paying for whatever it is he does. After all, Mr. Casey's salary comes directly from our dues.

When mere rank-and-file UFT members comment on Casey's columns, the ones we're paying him to write, he can't be bothered responding. If pressed, he may say things like "Now let's answer some real questions, " or "How dare you ask me questions during the week of my relative's birthday?" as though UFT members had such occasions marked on their calendars.

Mr. Casey responds to folks like Eduwonk, or Joe Williams from The Chalkboard, or Mike Antonucci from Intercepts, because their opinions, apparently, are important. Perish forbid that people who aren't on potty patrol criticize the great and powerful Unity monopoly. As mere duespayers, though, why the hell should he care what we think? Make no mistake, that's the message.

Behind the scenes, however, Mr. Casey pays very close attention to opposition voices. When the United Teachers Party, or UTP, started a website a while back, he was outraged by their iconography. Eagles! They must be Nazis! Also, they'd originally featured a quote from Charles Lindburgh. Egads! Further proof! And they'd used a clenched fist! That clearly supported skinheads (notwithstanding its use in traditional militant labor images).

The UTP look, actually, including the eagles, was based on the United Farm Workers site. That did not deter the dogged detective work of Unity, though. The fact that not one word the UTP had written remotely hinted at a Nazi philosophy was also neither here nor there.

The intrepid Mr. Casey went on to discover not only the offensive use of eagles, but that ICE had linked to the UTP website. How dare a UFT opposition party link to another UFT opposition party! This proved that ICE was no good either. After all, not only did they question Unity, but they were clearly in cahoots with the Nazis!

So remember, the next time you wonder why the hell you're paying 6-figure Unity hacks so you can get potty patrol, extra days, extra classes, and unpaid suspension based on unsubstantiated gobbledy-gook, all for less than cost-of-living, bear in mind that's not the only thing you're paying for. For no extra charge, you're protected from the Nazis!

In response to an important critic (a non-duespayer, of course), Casey complained this week that Bloomberg imposed a pattern negotiated by another union.

To me, that was an odd complaint, considering that the UFT had gone to PERB with full knowledge they'd endorsed pattern bargaining, and full knowledge of what the pattern happened to be (5% over three years, one being for givebacks). You'd think they'd know better. I did.

But little did I know they were fighting the Nazis! How could they bother negotiating a decent contract when they were on such a vital mission? After all, what's a 20-year contractual setback when one considers Unity has gone back and re-won World War II single-handedly? How can you greedy teachers fret over making mortgage payments when your very freedom is at stake?

Thanks goodness for Leo Casey, and the heroic Unity party. I hope they all enjoyed the AFT convention we just paid to send them to, unmarred by a single solitary voice from the 40% of teachers who oppose them, those Nazi bastards.

Update: The UTP website reports that a complaint about their iconography and such was made to the Anti-Defamation League, and found to be without merit.

Thanks to Norm and Advisor

Uh-oh

Chance at Sapient Sutler says it's Dubya-Dubya Three.

And here I was, thinking I'd almost recuperated from 2004.

Also---check out the Carnival of Education over at Text Savvy.

Thank You Sir, May I Have Another?

There are few things quite like an 86 degree day (and night) in a New York apartment building without electricity. Mayor Mike, of course, being a billionaire, needs not fret over such trivialities.

That's why, in his typically out-of-touch fashion, he just asked New Yorkers to thank the CEO of Con Ed., who left tens of thousands of them without electricity for days. This aroused the ire of his usally reliable good buddies at the local tabloids.

You see, when billionaire CEOs don't deliver, they're doing their best. When working people, like the transit workers withhold their service, they need to pay crushing fines. That's the way it is in Mayor Mike's fiefdom.

Things being that way, I'd suggest Mayor Mike deserves our appreciation as well, for hopelessly tying up the CFE suit that aims to give city kids quality teachers, smaller classes, and decent facilities.

So line up New York, and get that gratitude flowing.

Thanks to Schoolgal

School of Hard Knocks

A few years back, my supervisor approached me and asked if I'd be willing to have someone come and lecture my students on better ways for them to seek employment after they'd left high school. I said fine, and a couple of guys showed up in my classroom a few weeks later.

The first thing they did was pass out cards, on which my kids filled out their phone numbers. They then proceeded to give a hard-sell lecture to the kids about their two-year college, in which they offered associate degrees, and for which financial aid was available. I was amazed these guys had the audacity to do such a blatant bait-and-switch. I told them not to come to any of my other classes.

I reported this to my supervisor, who watched them lecture someone else's class, but for reasons that defy my comprehension, did not see what I found objectionable. They were allowed to continue visiting other teachers' classes, and return year after year.

The next day, and whenever I heard they were visiting, I told all my students that the good folks from the Interboro Institute were a couple of con artists, and that they'd be far better off going to a community college if they wanted an associate degree. They were significantly cheaper, and equally, if not more valuable.

Now the New York Times reports that not only did they do what I saw, but they paid their crack scorers 50 bucks a pop to pass students who didn't merit it. This qualified them for the loans that, apparently, are the lifeblood of this great institution. So remember, anything that sounds too good to be true, is. And anything that doesn't even sound very good in the first place, isn't.

As teachers, though, it's our job to warn our kids, who are often too young and naive to know the difference.

On Testing, Test-prep, and Writing for the Test

A few bloggers are on that topic this week. For one, there's perpetually-amusing Mamacita at Scheiss Weekly, from whom I stole the great cartoon on the left.

Also, Happychyck, typically, is wondering whether we're doing our students a favor with formulaic essays.

Happychyck sent me to yet another blogger, Tim Fredericks, who has a series of posts about lies teachers tell regarding essay structure, the importance of assigned books and student laziness, to name a few.

I'm not sure about all of Tim's points, but I certainly agree about the myth of the all-important five-paragraph essay. While it may be a good starting point for kids with no organizational sense, it's ridiculous to teach kids (and even college students) that structure and then maintain they know how to write. I commented:

Ya know, I've always felt that way about the five-paragraph essay, ever since I was first forced to teach it. Who the hell sits down to write a five-paragraph essay, ever?

Ironically, I've been having to teach ESL students how on earth they could pass the NY English Regents exam, which is entirely inappropriate for them (but that's yet another topic).

The way I've devised is teaching them a very simplistic FOUR-paragraph essay, and it seems to work. But I'd be deluding myself (not to mention my students) if I were to pretend this skill, which I spend up to a year teaching, were useful for anything but passing that one test, which they need to graduate.

Private "U"s and Public Schools

While I teach in a trailer, while my building is ready to burst from dusk to dawn, we're providing enormous subsidies for private universities in New York City. What's Mayor Bloomberg had to say about that? Nothing whatsoever.

This document, Fatal Subtraction, suggests NYC lost as much as 7.3 billion dollars last year in uncollected property taxes from private universities.

How much in taxes do you suppose we get for the Chrysler Building? Well, let's see, that must be a chunk of change. It is, actually, since NYC taxpayers have been going without a dime on it since 1931. I'm pretty sure my little 3-bedroom house supports public education more than the Chrysler Building, and I don't mind admitting we have far fewer bathrooms.

Actually, Cooper Union is entitled to charge taxes on that building, and keep the proceeds.

NYC hugely subsidizes Cooper Union, NYU, and Colombia University, among others, while CUNY students struggle to make tuition. A large percentage of students attending private universities aren't even residents. Why NYC taxpayers need to supplement their education, while their own kids are squeezed into odd spaces like sardines, is a mystery to me.

It's unconscionable that this happens while the CFE lawsuit, which would provide good teachers, smaller classes, and decent facilities for NYC kids, languishes is legal limbo, after being endorsed by NY State's Supreme Court.

Check out the report for much more detail.

Thanks to Norm and ParentAdvocates.org.

Further Censorship

I've replaced the photo that was, according to comments and emails, causing people to lose their lunch in the post below.

Hopefully that will help.

Ratfink Teachers

They don't do anything, and our kids are all stupid. Why the hell won't they kick in for their health insurance, so they can make less money? Why don't they give up tenure, so they can be fired for writing those crappy self-serving teacher blogs? Why don't they come in nights, weekends, and summers for free? Why do they get pensions? Why can't they eat cat food like everyone else once they retire? Don't they even care?

That's what you read in the Daily News and the New York Post, on a fairly regular basis. When the United Federation of Teachers was selling us the awful contract that halved our prep time, denied us presumption of innocence, and set us back over 20 years, one of its lines was "What will the tabloids say if we don't agree to this?" Now we know. They'll say the same things they said before, and even though we took that contract, they continue to say it.

It's not surprising that newspapers, which have unions of their own to deal with, or which have already managed to break them, don't much care for unions. What's surprising is that regular people read this stuff and then repeat it.

My brother-in-law is a factory worker in Canada. He has all the benefits NY teachers have, and his prescriptions, since he's now in a union, are free. His wife, when she had a baby, got a year off from her job, with pay. The government provides free child care for Canadian pre-school kids, and she now runs a daycare center in her home. And yes, they were able to buy one of those too.

Furthermore, they won't need a second mortgage to send their children to college.

How can Americans ask "Why do teachers get these things?"

They should be asking "Why doesn't everyone get these things?" Look at Canada and Europe. If you think our standard of living approaches theirs, you've got your eyes closed.

And for those who'd make the absurd argument that teachers who say such things don't care about kids, our kids will inherit the country we leave them.

Ours is sorely in need of improvement.