Anyway, when I got the e-mail, there were a few students in my room working on papers and reading, and I said to them, "Hey, our progress report came out. We did really well."
They asked how well, and I told them, having just talked about percentile ranks with them in regards to their recent taking of the PSATs. They knew, then, what the number meant.
"So we did really well," I said to them again.
They looked at me, mildly bemused. "Well, yeah. Duh. We know this is a really good school. Like, we complain about it and stuff, but it's good here."
And that, my friends, is the only progress report that really matters.