Bring Back Child Labor

That's what some Republicans want, and it wouldn't surprise me at all to see Democrats chiming in any moment now. Employers would love to put kids to work at any and all hours, and the hell with school and all that other nonsense. If it weren't for all this education crap, they'd be ensured of an extremely low-paid work force with even less hope for advancement than there already is now.

Last Friday I proctored an English Regents exam and the young woman in the seat closest to the door kept falling asleep. I had to keep asking her if she was OK, and eventually sent her out to wash her face and try to wake up. I asked her what the matter was and she told me she'd been working until 3 the previous morning. I told her her boss belonged in jail.

She told me she worked in a catering hall. When I asked how old she was she told me she was 18. So I suppose her employer is not criminally liable. However, if this dirtbag could hire 16-year-old high school students instead of waiting until they're 18, I have no doubt the girl's younger friends would be joining her.

Of course the girl's judgment is poor. But she's a kid, and I don't expect sterling decisions from teenagers. Her employer ought to know better. Parents ought to know better as well.

Given the way this country treats education, it seems a national goal is to make sure no one knows better, except the billionaires who benefit from the exploitation of our children.

How Do People Miss This Stuff?

Just read a blog post from a teacher complaining about a new contract that offers a 1% salary reduction. The blogger followed up with a request to give to his classroom via Donors Choose, the outfit that offered bribes to those who'd sit through Waiting for Superman,  a propaganda film that enabled and encouraged things like his own salary reduction,  not to mention giving up public school space to charter privateers like Geoffrey Canada and Eva Moskowitz.

I will not give a dime to Donors Choose, no matter what. To demonstrate it's not due to my inherent cheapness, I'll make a small donation to Class Size Matters instead.

If you would like to support a truly worthy cause, feel free to do the same.

Welcome to Bloombergville!

The American Economy Explained--in Two Minutes and 15 Seconds

From the Folks Who Brought You Green Dot Schools

There's now a push for a parent trigger law in New York. This law was passed in California in an effort to turn an elementary school into a charter.

The Parent Trigger was conceived by a group called Parent Revolution, formerly known as the Los Angeles Parents Union. It's no secret that the organization was founded by the Green Dot charter school chain, though occasionally there's a halfhearted effort to portray Parent Revolution as a “grassroots” parents' group.

And State Senator Gloria Romero, who sponsored the legislation in California, scored herself a nice gig with Democrats for Education Reform, after voters rejected her bid to become Superintendent of Public Instruction. It must be great to take all that "reform" money and run around creating even more faux-grassroots organizations, like "Educators4Excellence."

I've long found Green Dot and its outspoken founder to be obnoxious and disingenuous. Steve Barr claims teachers drop tenure to work for him, the Green Dot website proclaims its teachers have neither tenure nor seniority rights, yet I've repeatedly seen UFT sources state that its teachers had "just cause" protection. A prominent "reform" voice once told me that GD teachers were "counseled out" when there were problems. I've repeatedly asked union sources and journalists how many GD teachers went through its "just cause" process, and how many teacher jobs were preserved as a result. I've never gotten an answer.

The UFT is partners with a Green Dot school, and while it may have precluded Barr taking over a city school, as he did in LA, it's hard to see how this organization advances the interests of working people (you know, the kind our kids grow up to become). This parent trigger thing just looks like one more "reform" effort to close and privatize even more schools.

This does not help us or our kids (though I never deluded myself Green Dot had any such goal to begin with). Nonetheless, this is one heck of a thank you for our union bringing them to the Big Apple.

Something for Nothing

Nice if you can get it, and that's precisely what Mayor4Life Bloomberg is demanding from city workers. Basically, you give me 30 million a month, more than I would have saved by firing all those teachers, and I won't fire all those teachers.

Yet nowhere in the article does it mention the actual emergency which necessitated all those firings, to wit, a 3.2 billion dollar surplus. Last year, you probably recall, the mayor dropped the firings by unilaterally canceling the 8% pattern raise all other city workers got for teachers. I'm still not clear how that's okay with PERB, which insists on the pattern for all whenever it's such a stinker no one wants it. In 2005 the UFT agreed to draconian concessions to get a compensation increase that didn't even keep up with cost of living.

The real problem is this--if we give Bloomberg that money, it will not be enough, just as unilaterally canceling teacher raises was not enough. Next year, there will be another crisis. Perhaps the surplus will only be one or two billion, and we'll really need to cut back.  Bloomberg will roll out the LIFO nonsense again, and do his darndest to circumvent the contract he and the Tweedies agreed to. He'll find some other stooge in the Senate to demand we kill seniority protections only for teachers, and only for teachers in New York City, and he'll claim that's the magic bullet to force the improvements he hasn't been able to make over this long, long decade.

Do we want to even consider giving Bloomberg this money? Only if we can preclude a repeat of all this nonsense next year, and the year after. Bloomberg needs a face-saving out for his idiotic and longstanding contention that teachers need to be fired.  That's why it's a good thing they haven't given it up yet.

Let's make him pay dearly for any way out, and let's not give him another in come next year.

The Incredibly Shocking Truth About Transformation

It appears the much-touted "transformation model," much beloved by Arnie Duncan, Mayor Mike and President Hopey-Changey, has failed to turn around the troubled Central Falls High School. The first approach, you may recall, was to fire all the teachers.  Education Secretary Duncan "applauded" that action. (Will someone remind me what the heck I was thinking when I voted for Barack Obama?)

Personally, I'm shocked that the 75% of Central Falls students receiving free lunch are not suddenly affluent. I was also certain that the 22% receiving ESL instruction would suddenly achieve native fluency.  How could that have failed?  There is, of course, the possibility that the reason kids are failing has something to do with the kids themselves, with poverty, with learning disabilities, or with other factors I cannot conceive of. However, if that were the case, surely educational experts like Bill Gates and Arne Duncan would have acknowledged them.

As they did not, it's pretty clear to me that these factors are irrelevant, and that failure must be met head on with a drastic and draconian solution that makes no sense whatsoever. After all, that's what they do in public schools, and both Arne and Obama thoroughly endorse such actions, or in fact any actions Bill Gates deems necessary. It's fairly obvious the  only workable solution is to close the White House and replace 50% of qualified employees. Let's replace Obama with Ralph Nader, who has a proven record of accomplishment. We can replace Duncan with Diane Ravitch, or Linda Darling Hammond, or Leonie Haimson, or pretty much anyone who isn't insane.

Sure, you say, these people aren't elected. Well, neither is Bill Gates, Eva Moskowitz, or Michelle Rhee. In fact, Rhee pretty much brought down the elected official who selected her.

Sometimes There Are Good Reasons for Resisting Change

One of the most frustrating things about my last year at my old school was the problem of "change for the sake of change." I worked in a school that was excellent by any measure--test scores were up, parents were happy, students were achieving and felt safe and happy. So many of the teachers at my school were never sure why the place had to be reinvented from the ground up when our new principal came, and this feeling that changes were being made simply so the new principal could assert the new authority that came with the job never went away.

Change for the sake of change should surely be the poisonous #13 on this list of why educators resist change. Coming from a blog focused on admins, it's nice to see school leaders talking frankly about how change-resisters aren't lazy or contrarian or afraid, but often have good reasons to fight back against change. That's not to say that change-resisters are always correct or that at least some changes aren't productive and healthy. But it is to say that they don't necessarily dig their heels in for lack of work ethic or appreciation for reality.

One commenter on this post noted, of change-for-the-sake-of-change school leaders, "It doesn't really matter if the change is good or bad; what matters is that the change agents (often people using innovation to advance their careers) will soon find something new and shiny on which to fix their star." A question worth asking, when your supervisor wants to change something that you're not sure needs changing, is why this change might be happening and if the change is happening towards the latest fad. (I'm looking at you, Workshop Model!) And swapping one fad for another as a matter of ongoing policy is not good for anyone.

This subject is on my mind, I suppose, because I stay in touch with most of my colleagues from my old school on the Interwebz, and yesterday there was an onslaught of commentary from them about a particularly dispiriting day at work. What a shame, coming from such wonderful people and teachers. I can only hope that they, too, are able to resist the crushes to self-efficacy that unwarranted, baseless, and continuous change can bring. Administrators would do well to remember this, and know what their teachers are going through when yet another miracle cure for all that supposedly ails a school is promised.

Things Joel Klein Doesn't Notice

I marvel that Joel Klein gets major publication to post the nonsense he writes, but being a corporate-backed celebrity, one can place op-eds fairly easily. This week, Joel is amazed that candidates backed by billionaires are appointed with such regularity. What a shock, to see money and power working hand in hand.

Joel, of course, left his post to make millions from Rupert Murdoch, who cares so deeply about schoolchildren he's backed every move to destroy the middle class their parents hope they will enter. His company's most recent foray is the receipt of a 27 million no-bid contract to replicate ARIS, the crappy boondoggle of a computer program that Klein managed to acquire for NYC for over three times the price.

Klein praises KIPP, amazed at how successful it is with the kids who complete the program. He can't be bothered figuring how many kids drop out beforehand. Apparently, they've eliminated the achievement gap, that same gap he himself claimed to have eliminated before NY admitted it had dumbed down the tests on which Klein based the claim.

Klein then goes on to make his standard attack on lifetime tenure, failing to note there is no such thing and that teachers are routinely brought up on charges. Klein forgets his failures to convict teachers for such things as giving watches to kids, bringing plants to school, or using DOE fax machines to report malfeasance, all of which occurred under his watch. He then attacks pensions, as he always does, failing to note that he himself took one, to supplement the millions he gets from Murdoch.

But mostly, he fails to notice that absolutely nothing he did as chancellor actually improved the New York City school system he ran for eight interminable years. And apparently, the fact that none of his "reformer" colleagues have done anything to better the lives of kids is not worthy of note either.

But that's all in a day's work when Rupert Murdoch puts you on the gravy train.

(Picture from NYC Public School Parents Blog)

Are You Smarter than a Sixth Grader?

 I have no idea, but here you can see 6th grader Sierra Hull playing mandolin with Alison Krauss.  If you haven't heard Alison Krauss yet, well, what are you waiting for?

Think Twice Before Taking Your Kid...

...to a McDonald's play area. Here's what one parent found:

Walcott's First Draft

As Chancellor, I want the best for our kids. That's why I'm closing their schools, and allowing charters to take over. After all, charters are better than public schools 17% of the time, so it's crucial we give our kids the chance to enroll in a grueling, dehumanizing lottery process in which they have a small chance of getting into one of these schools. That way, if they do, they have a 17% chance of getting a superior education. Me, I sent my kids to private schools until high school, because I don't take chances with my own kids.

In any case, I'd like to give the rest of you the opportunity to take that crapshot. I figure if 20% actually get into the charters, that 3.4% of your kids will have better schools. But consider this--if I can double the number of charters, 6.8% of your kids will have better schools. Perhaps one day I'll be remembered as the chancellor who managed to get 3.4% more kids better schools.

Let me tell you, I don't take this responsibility lightly. I want to close all the public schools the failing public schools because it's very important to me to raise the number of privately-run charters improve education for that 3.4% all children. We do meticulous research before taking the drastic step of closing a school, and we stand by our findings. We don't care how many people get up and protest at the hearings on closings, and we don't worry about what people say to us at the PEP meetings when we allow public comment.  Mayor Bloomberg knows best, and we all know that he'd fire us if we disagreed with his findings.

Sure, 78% of public school parents think we're going the wrong way. But I ask you, is that a reason to change horses mid-stream? If it means my job? What are you, nuts?  No one wants to have their jobs on the line. That's why that pain-in-the-ass union is always complaining. Sure, some Gloomy Guses ask why we want to fire teachers, reducing the number of working teachers by 6,000, when we're sitting on a 3.2 billion dollar surplus.

That's simply because it's better to have kids in a class of 140 with a good teacher than a class of 25 with a mediocre one. And Mayor Bloomberg and I know what a good teacher is. A good teacher is a low-paid, non-unionized, constantly terrified for her very livelihood trained professional who knows how to look the other way when we commit outrageous violations train her students for a fuller and more rewarding life. And believe me, with the money we save on losing the 6,000 teachers this year, we will focus on expanding our bad ideas opportunities for all our kids.

And remember, I've pledged never to say a bad word about teachers. I shall show the utmost respect while I fire them based on deficits that don't exist usher them into a world of new opportunity and outrageously raise the class sizes of those remaining create new challenges for our always-excellent working teachers.

Thank you, and be confident that together, we will achieve whatever the hell Michael Bloomberg says great things.

January Sounds Far Away, But...

...it's not far from the mind of high school teachers and principals, who are asking the state to reconsider the discontinuance of January Regents exams. New York State requires that students pass a minimum of five Regents exams to graduate from high school, and in the past, they have been offered three times a year: January, June, and August. With January's administration out the window, New York students will only have 2 shots a year at the exams.

Understandably, this makes high school teachers and principals upset and nervous, which is to say nothing of the kids. With schools set to be judged even more by test scores for the upcoming school year, losing 1 of 3 chances to boost their numbers will hurt. And it's a blow to the kids who struggle with the tests as well; I personally know kids who have tried to pass certain exams 3 and 4 times before actually succeeding. The principals, in the open letter linked above, called the Board of Regents' move "penny wise and pound foolish," noting that the elimination of the administration of the January Regents saves the state less than 0.01% of the overall state education budget.

It is absurd and, frankly, unfair to cut back the administration of these crucial exams during a time in which these scores count more than ever for students, teachers, and principals. The State Board of Regents should reconsider.

And are we all enjoying this opportunity to dream, if briefly, of frosty January? Wishing you all a Chancellor's Conference Day/Brooklyn-Queens Day full of plentiful air conditioning.

On the Importance of Communication

Yesterday morning, in my mailbox, I found a note declaring there should be no parties during class. You can imagine my surprise. After all, here we are, almost ten months into the year, and they're setting policy. And here I am, partying since September, ready to continue, and lo and behold, I'm instructed to halt immediately. Isn't that a kick in the pants?

This is not so bad as the last miscommunication, when the principal told us to not work. Imagine my surprise when he walked in on me, found me not working, and asked what the hell I was doing. "You told us to not work," I reminded him.

He was furious. "I told you to network!" he said.

My feeling is, you have to lay out a policy and stick to it. If you want people not to have parties, just say so. If you want them to network, well, I guess you actually ought to have parties.

Just one more reason I'll never make principal.

Educators 4 QuashingDissent

While it was nice to see an administrator pointing out the obvious flaws in E4E's public relations approach at GothamSchools yesterday, what was far more telling, in GS's coverage of the administrator's letter, was Sydney Morris's response. Morris responded, "E4E is, and always has been, a membership organization and some [emphasis mine] events are for members only...[W]e sometimes [emphasis also mine] have to limit the numbers of attendees we have..."

I call shenanigans. As I mentioned in the E4E pieces in GS last week, I and other bloggers have tried, a number of times, to RSVP to E4E events. While I can't speak for everyone, my own intentions were more or less pure. I thought I would hear what they and their invited speakers have to say, meet some fellow teachers, and have a free drink. Seemed simple enough. But every time I have tried to RSVP to an E4E event, the "loyalty oath" is included in the online form, and it cannot be bypassed. I have yet to hear about the E4E event that is open to the non-oath-signing public.

John Galvin, the administrator who authored the open letter, noted, "If you want to sponsor events that are closed to the public and only open to your members, that is your right. However, if you want to engage the public in debate and to test your ideas to the widest audience possible, then it makes no sense. It raises questions about the motives of your group and the commitment of your group to engage in honest debate with those that agree and disagree with you." And he's right. As teachers, we encourage our students to consider and address counterclaims to their positions in their writing; we facilitate open, but respectful, debate in our classrooms. While some of the criticism directed at E4E has turned ugly and personal, most of it, certainly from myself and NYC Educator, has, in my opinion, been direct and fair. It is not a savage ad hominem takedown to want to know, for example, where a group's funding is coming from, especially the funding that has allowed this nascent "grassroots" group to move into prime office space in midtown Manhattan.

So I'll continue to wait for that mythical "open" E4E event. And if you can't contain your excitement and REALLY want to go in the meantime, you can sign the non-loyalty oath on Facebook before you go to keep your conscience clear.

In Good Company

Jonathan Alter of Newsweek, recently sold for a dollar,  is now writing for Bloomberg. Unsurprisingly, he's written a hatchet job on Diane Ravitch. Ravitch, for the unforgivable offense of examining the actual facts about so-called education reform, must be dealt with. Alter does so via an ad hominem piece that might be persuasive to those who have not studied the actual results of "reform." Alter expresses shock that Arne Duncan would speak against her, despite the undeniable fact that Duncan has been on the reform bandwagon since well before he was Education Secretary.

Most reformers, according to Alter, are not Scott Walker. They don't want to stop collective bargaining. Take Mayor Bloomberg, Alter's employer, for example. He only wants to do layoffs based on innuendo, on unsubstantiated accusations. He also wants to eliminate right of return, so that the layoffs are actually firings. What could be wrong with that? Arne Duncan simply wants entire school staffs fired, like they tried in Rhode Island, and thinks natural disasters are great opportunities to privatize. Of course, Alter doesn't see how privately run charter schools are privatizing.

Alter's been thoroughly refuted at the Public School Parents blog, both here and here, in Accountable Talk,  Salon, and in the ceaselessly observant Schools Matter. Of course, with Billionaire Boys' Club money everywhere, he's far from alone. It's unpleasant to be attacked, even when attacks are baseless. Teachers know well, as every day we open the tabloids to find double-paged assaults on our sins, more unforgivable each day. How dare we be paid? Why should teachers have health care or pensions? Wal-Mart employees are barely paid, and have benefits that are essentially worthless. Wouldn't America be a better place if teachers were the same?

That's the sort of thinking that goes on in America today, and it's a huge problem. I'm very sorry to see Ravitch attacked like this. Since racism is no longer as chic as it once was, someone else needs to be Willie Horton. For the last few years it's been teachers.

Ravitch, as a truth-teller, has been thrust in our midst. They say people are measured by the company they keep. We've got a very hard road ahead, but standing with people like Diane Ravitch, at the very least, should let us know we're going the right way.

Is Facebook Asinine?

She's got a great response. I love her expressions. Were I to deliver a message in this fashion, people would surely toss tomatoes at their computer screens.

They Mean Business Over There

I was screaming at one of my Chinese students the other day, probably because she made a subject-verb agreement error, or spelled "writing" with two Ts, or committed some other infraction I found absolutely unforgivable.

"How could you?" I pleaded, as dramatically as I could muster.

She laughed at me. Just sat there laughing out loud. I was shocked. How dare she?

"Aren't you afraid of me any more?" I asked.

"No Mister, I've never been afraid of you."

"Why not?"

"Because this is nothing. You just say one thing. But in China, the teacher yells at you for an hour."

"Really?"

"Yes, and they are way more angry than you."

"Okay," I said. I walked over to her, ready to try yelling at her for an hour, though I knew the class would be over well before that.

"Action!" shouted the girl next to her, gamely.

But the girl stopped me. "It's all wrong," she said. "You should be sitting down, and I should be standing up. Also, I can't look at you. I have to keep my eyes to the floor."

"Wow. Okay, I'll try."

"No, it's not good yet. You need to have a pot of tea. Then you pour yourself a cup. Drink tea, then scream. Drink more tea, then scream some more. And you can't stop until I'm crying."

With all the nonsense they throw at us, I have to admit I'm still glad to teach here in the United States.

As the Weather Grows Warm: A Quote Collage for the First Week of June

Climate control:

"MISS, PUT ON THE AIR CONDITIONER."

--half of my students

"MISS, TURN OFF THE AIR CONDITIONER, IT'S COLD."

--the other half of my students

"NO MISS, PUT THE AIR CONDITIONER BACK ON."

--the first half of my students

"MISS, I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE [old, noisy] AIR CONDITIONER."

--the three students who are still doing their work

Cutting:

"Has anyone seen the following seventeen students who may have cut their eighth period class today?"

--me

"The following students were found on the street corner outside the school building during eighth period yesterday: [long list of students, including some of the seventeen]"

--e-mail from the deans

"Miss, I had to cut your class, my pet ferret died and my aunt who's here from Argentina for only eight hours is officiating the funeral and my brother threatened to join the Marines if I was even five minutes late for it."

--one of the seventeen students

"MISS, IT'S TOO HOT."

--one of the seventeen who is clearly not very creative

Other challenges:

"MISS, IT SMELLS IN HERE."

--anyone who ever comes into my room after it has been occupied by 25-30 teenagers

"MISS, I NEED A DRINK OF WATER."

--a thirsty/hot student OR a bored student--only an expert teacher can tell which

"MISS, I NEED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM."

--student who went to the bathroom twenty minutes ago

"MISS, WE'RE LEAVING FOR OUR FAMILY VACATION THREE WEEKS EARLY, AM I GOING TO MISS ANYTHING?"

--student who is on the verge of failing the class

And finally...

All students: "MISS, WHEN IS THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL?"

Rethinking Teacher Contracts

The geniuses at Education Sector have come up with ways to economize on those wasteful teacher contracts. If only we could eliminate raises, sick days, pensions, class size restrictions, and those awful health and pension benefits, we'd have more money to lavish on the children we love.

Thanks to Education Sector, our children can look forward to even more opportunities to get jobs without raises, sick days, pensions, workload limits, and those awful health and pension benefits. This is a great way to sustain tax breaks for those who really need them, like Bill Gates and Eli Broad. But why should we limit such great ideas to teachers?

Couldn't we save money on restaurant bills if we got rid of this whole tipping nonsense?  I mean, if an entree costs 18 bucks, shouldn't it cost 18 bucks? And are we actually paying for those hairnets I see them using in the kitchen? And what about those long rubber gloves the dishwasher is using? How will he know how hot the water is? And are we actually paying to heat it?

Often, I'll see restaurant staff sitting around doing nothing. Sometimes they'll even be eating. Is the price of their food reflected in my eighteen bucks? And if they have nothing to do, shouldn't they go out and make the world a better place? In fact, if they weren't wasting their time cleaning the restaurant, they could clean the streets and save us the expense of hiring sanitation workers. What the hell does Education Sector care if there's a little grease on their plates, or the odd rodent jumping into their soup? Maybe that 18-dollar entree could be ten bucks if we stopped throwing money at the problem.

Also, I've just about had it with these doctors. Why should they have health insurance? If they're so smart, can't they heal themselves? Why should they have professional associations lobbying for them? Are they socking money away for their retirement? Wouldn't it be better if they just stopped charging so much? And what's with these receptionists? Are we paying for them? Wouldn't it be better if the doctors came out, greeted you personally, filled out whatever forms need filling out, and took you into the office?

What really grinds my gears are those waiting rooms. If there are too many people, doctors ought to bring them all into the offices, and that way they'd be sufficiently motivated to get them out quickly. The more they treated, the more money they'd make. You know, like merit pay. Let's find ways to keep it moving and stop wasting time. As long as they're effective doctors, who gives a golly goshdarn how many patients they treat?

Forward-thinking Americans could apply the Education Sector method to many areas of society, save lots of money, and give it back to billionaires in tax cuts.

Because that's what our nation needs more of.