There's a proposal to sell liquor near an elementary school! That's right, old demon alcohol. With a capitol D and that rhymes with P and that stands for polygamy.
Where? No place other than our nation's capital, Washington DC, that den of iniquity. It's widely believed that former president Bill Clinton had oral sex in that town.
Where in this evil town is this evil place? Well, it's in a vegetarian restaurant. That's right. A place where no one even eats steak. It's well-known that tofu and falafel do not constutute acceptable dietary fare for real Americans. So who eats there? Bolshviks and terrorists, probably.
Do you want your children eating that stuff? Do you want to see them drunk, running around vegetarian restaurants with communists?
Of course not. What's next? Opium dens? We must, in the name of all that's right and good in this country, put an immediate stop to this.
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