Monday, November 06, 2006

Paved with Good Intentions


I go to the guidance counselor to say that Jaihi doesn't understand what's going on in my class. She should be in a lower level. If she stays with me, she'll certainly fail.

The counselor removes her glasses, looks me in the eye and says, "Ms. Laconic teaches the lower level. Jaihi is better off failing with you than passing with her."

Why, yes of course. What piercing insight she has. I'm a master teacher and what on earth does Ms. Laconic know about anything anyway?

Juan just arrived in the country five minutes ago and hasn't got the remotest notion what's going on in my class. I tell his guidance counselor.

He sighs and says, "Well, Mr. Educator, the only class I can put him into is Ms. Laconic's, and we all know he'll learn more failing with you than passing her class."

That's right. This guy is keenly perceptive. I'm king of the world. Kids benefit from the proximity of my aura even if they don't know what the hell I'm talking about. That Ms. Laconic is not worthy to touch the hem of my garment.

A few weeks later, it's report card time. I get called into my supervisor's office.

"Mister Educator, I'm very disappointed to see only 62% of the students in this class passed. While we would never say pass a certain percentage, because that would be wrong-headed, short-sighted and unethical, at least 70% should pass. What is it you are doing wrong?"

The hell with guidance counselors. They know nothing. Jaihi and Juan can go to Ms. Laconic's class, along with everyone else who's got no chance to pass.
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