Wednesday, January 31, 2007

NYC Educator's Boarding House


Mayor Bloomberg is going to add twenty small schools next year. 10 of them will be in 2 buildings that he's shutting down. The other 10 will be, well, he doesn't know where they will be.

Personally, I've decided to follow in his footsteps. I'm going to take my three bedroom home and convert it into a thirty bedroom home. First, I'm going to put up dividers in each bedroom to make sure that everyone has their own room. Then, I'm going to put an air mattress in each room, as full size beds are out of the question.

I'm going to equip each bedroom with a lamp, and run extension cords under the floors so that everyone gets a hot plate. Or maybe I'll split up the kitchen, and everyone can get a shelf in the fridge. It'll be kind of like being a college student again. I'll make up a snappy motto like "Renters First," and squeeze in as many as I can.

My boarding house will have everything. It'll be kind of like living in a third-world country while staying in the US. So, let's do the math---three times five is fifteen. I don't know where the other fifteen will be.

Excuse me. I gotta go take a look at the crawl space.
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