In a Hurry

This morning, I'm off to read 5 million papers. Our ESL department is going to read the papers of our ESL students. They are all taking the Regents exam, because NY State has decided, in its infinite wisdom, that there is no difference between kids who were born here, kids who have spoken English all their lives, and kids from other countries, who have spoken English only weeks or months.

It's important that we have a standardized test because teachers can't be trusted to construct their own. I, for example, would never exhibit the wisdom of NY State. I would test my kids on things like grammar and usage, the things that show up in their writing, the things they will be tested on when they enter college, and the things they will take no-credit remedial courses to correct. I'm thoroughly corrupt like that, teaching them what they really need rather than what Pearson or Common Core says they need.

And next year, because teachers cannot be trusted even to grade tests that don't measure what kids need, I'll be grading tests from somewhere else. That way, I will not be personally involved with the kids whose papers I grade, and will have no stake in whether or not they pass or fail. This is because I, like all teachers, actually want my kids to pass and therefore cannot be trusted to evaluate them. Kids will benefit from graders who don't know them, who couldn't care less whether they do well or not. At least that's the thinking from the geniuses who run education in New York.

So, as a thoroughly corrupt teacher, as the state assumes all of us to be, I bid you good morning.