Big Fun at the DMV

Last week I took my daughter to the Motor Vehicle Bureau, and I was stupid enough to think that an American passport would serve as adequate ID. Silly me, I forgot to bring her social security card, simply because no one has ever asked to see it in my living memory. We got sent home, but the woman gave us a pass so we wouldn't have to stand in that line again. And indeed we walked right to the front, where they accepted our documentation and told us to sit and wait until she was called to take the test.

We went into a test room and started waiting. After about a half-hour one of the very efficient DMV employees announced that only those taking the test could stay, and all us pain-in-the-neck parents would have to leave. After all, there were a lot of vacant places in that room and they needed to keep it that way. So I went out and stood in the big room with the other five million people.

After she took her test, she was told to wait again. An hour later, they told her she passed and instructed her to wait some more so that I could pay. After all this waiting, she went outside to use the bathroom. To ensure the safety of New York State, someone locked the door behind her. She had to borrow someone's cell to let me know she was locked out.

I went to the security guard at the door, who informed yes, he had the key, but he couldn't actually open the door. This was a very serious matter, and I would have to go to window 12 and wait for a supervisor. Naturally they didn't waste state money on a bell or anything, and asking whether or not anyone was there did not work, so I stood there until someone came by.

I told the supervisor my daughter was locked out, but that I'd be willing to pay for her permit if it was OK. It was not. The supervisor instructed the guard not to actually open the door, since that might send the wrong message. Instead, he instructed her through the glass to walk over to some special employee door so as not to mislead the public that they could actually get in and deal with whatever issues they might be having.

Finally they allowed me the great honor of paying 90 bucks for their exemplary services, and with the ability to cut the first line, it took us a mere 3 hours. I have to say I was a little surprised as my personal experiences with the DMV have been considerably better over the last 20 years or so. This was the sort of treatment we used to expect.

I can only conclude that when it comes to screwing people over, Governor Cuomo's DMV follows Mayor Bloomberg's revered and longstanding policy of putting Children First, Always.