No Excuses

Naturally, I was shocked and stunned to discover the high school graduation rate had fallen under Mayor Michael Bloomberg. After all, we are the reformiest place on earth, and UFT teachers now have a new evaluation system despite not having had a raise in almost five years or a contract in almost four. Mayor Bloomberg boasted about having the toughest evaluation system, bar none, and not having had to give a goshdarn penny to acquire it.

It's a given that anyone would admire a man that reformy. And yet, the reformier things get, the better they are. Why, then, would the grad rates go down? Well of course we can blame the individual teachers, and we can certainly expect them to whine about learning disabilities, poverty, kids not knowing English, and other such trivial nonsense.

But Michael Bloomberg is Perfect In Every Way. In fact, we had to change a law twice affirmed by voters to make sure he could but that indispensable third term. Therefore I do not expect this from him. Certainly he is not adding value here, and thus, I'd have to rate him ineffective. Now I'm not some wacky extremist, so I'm not waving my arms and screaming he ought to commit ritual suicide with a Samurai sword. Yet still, you'd think a man who raves about putting people's feet to the fire would, at the very least, hold himself up to his own standards.

I'm a reasonable guy. All I ask is that Mayor Bloomberg submit his resignation. I'd like it in the cardboard box in my trailer by 9 AM Monday morning, June 24th. I have great confidence that anyone who believes in value-added will hold himself to the standard he holds for everyone else. This is particularly true since he has all that money and therefore is demanding.

When Mike Bloomberg resigns, I certainly hope he'll recommend someone who can do a better job than he did. Of course, if that person wishes to consider things like poverty and learning disabilities, I can live with that. I'm the sort of person who can accept standards for education even if they are not insane.

So, for Mayor of New York, I nominate Manhattan PEP rep. Patrick Sullivan, who has repeatedly demonstrated his lack of insanity by voting against Mayor Bloomberg's rubber stamp panel. I'm certain the Mayor will appreciate my input as I have so generously not required ritual suicide for this hideous public shaming.  I certainly hope Mayor Bloomberg will redeem himself by campaigning for Patrick.

And frankly, I believe 1.1 million public schoolchildren will benefit substantially from policies that are not insane.