Friday, November 18, 2011

Ought We Crown Bloomberg King?

by special guest blogger Nicholas Azcona

The suggestion merits consideration.

"A military style raid on peaceful protesters camped out in the shadow of Wall Street, ordered by a cold ruthless billionaire who bought his way into the mayor’s office."

It's not everyday that new monarchs rise. Now, you may not be a  fan of Bloomberg, but consider the evidence as it happened:

-Creating a no-fly zone for press helicopters? This is impressive. It's the type of thing The United States and Britain used to do to Saddam Hussein's Iraq. It takes real muscle. If anything, it was an act of mercy. Bloomberg the Kind has previously proclaimed that his guards have the ability to shoot down aircraft.

-Arresting and attacking journalists while barring the rest of them from even getting close? The Hosni Mubarak special. He was called the last Pharaoh for a reason. 

-Closing the Brooklyn Bridge and Subway system? Well you can't allow escape routes for when you send in your military police.

-Sending in bulldozers, snipers, riot police, gassing the protesters etc.? That's part of being the Alpha and Omega of New York City. Bulldozing over peaceful settlements isn't just for movies like Avatar. It's the stuff of legends- legends like our King Mayor. Let's not forget the deployment of sound cannons too.That's just cool and star treky. Protest against inequality and you deserve to get your ear drums blown out.

- Throwing out over 5000 books from the Occupy Wall Street library, and then cutting down trees? Books are pesky things for a Monarch. If the people read, then they might question, and that's not good. Besides, he may have even spared a couple of the books, so people should be grateful. Now, "some" might ask why trees were cut down,and why tents were physically destroyed. To them I say: Carthage. It's standard Emperor 101. When the people don't listen to you, you go in, eliminate them, and then salt the Earth so that nothing again may ever grow from their ruins.

It's the job of the mayor after all to maintain peace, law, and order. Especially the law.

- Finally, some question how he managed to arrest hundreds, and still had the park sealed off for hours, despite the fact that there was an ORDER from the New York State SUPREME COURT, telling Lord Bloomberg that he had to cease at once and let the protesters back in. This is the silliest of all. Everyone knows that the law of Man doesn't apply to The King. It only applies to his subjects.

Thus I have concluded: He must be a King ruling from Divine Right. It must be so, otherwise the only other rational explanation is that he's a fucking criminal that belongs in a jail cell. 
And that's just too unpleasant to be the case.
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