What are you teachers doing take Christmas off?
How dare you lazy, coddled, tenured ne'er-do-wells take a holiday?
Don't you know kids are being hurt by your union-protected laziness?
Don't you know charter schools had a half day of school today where kids got to read the classic Dickens tale A Christmas Carol and take a standardized test quizzing them on content and vocabulary from the story?
Don't you know we must never miss ANY opportunity or day to educate our children to reach education checkpoints set by the Great Gods of Tammany Hall/Tweed Courthouse?
Don't you know there is a periodic assessment with holiday content created by the mayor's buddies at Random House your students could be taking right now to help them prepare for a life of part-time toil, poverty wages and overwhelming debt in our Depression-era America where the top 5% own 99% of the wealth?
Don't you know that Uncle Joel Klein, Mayor Moneybags, Arne Testmeister, Michelle Media Darling, Mistress Eva, Whitney the Hedge Fund Shyster and the rest of the education "experts" know what is best for schools and students and parents and kids and they ALL say days off are bad!!!
So next year I hope all you lazy, coddled, tenured ne'er-do-well teachers in unions will accede to what the education experts say is "good educatin'" and work a half day teaching your students how to bubble in circles and take endless batteries of useless test prep created to enrich the buddies of Uncle Joel and Mayor Moneybags at Random House.
But since you're probably feeling a little guilty just now for taking the WHOLE day off, why don't you take a few hours away from celebrating the holidays with your families and friends to grade some papers, analyze some student data on the mayor's vaunted ARIS computer system, plan some lessons and/or take part in some professional development.
Better yet, why don't you lazy bastards do all of those things today?
After all, in the feudal state that is Depression-era America, school AND work are never out - unless you've been laid off, of course.
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