Monday, October 26, 2009

Each, Every and All


One of my pet trends is making a comeback in my building, at least according to one administrator I've spoken with. That, of course, is the favored method of addressing the kids. Apparently, if teenagers aren't listening to you, it's because you, the teacher, failed to use the proper language.

If you paleolithic pedagogues would just discard that archaic and useless "ladies and gentlemen," and begin addressing them as "each, every, and all," your young charges will immediately cease misbehaving. Also, they will do their homework religiously, stop texting during the "Do Now," and get perfect scores on standardized tests.

So first thing when you get into work today, get with the program.

"I want each of you to stop throwing chairs out the window."

"I want every one of you to stop throwing chairs out the window."

"I want all of you to stop throwing chairs out the window."


This should solve the problem immediately. Is your administration on your back for not getting high enough scores on a standardized test? Are you blaming it on things like poverty, homelessness, drug addiction, prostitution, or the kid being at Rikers? How is that going to earn merit pay for your principal? How is that going to improve the statistics of Mayor-for-life Bloomberg?

"I want each of you to pass this test."



"I want every one of you to pass this test."




"I want all of you to pass this test."

For goodness sake, get started immediately. And if the administration gives you a hard time, doling out meaningless instructions that add nothing but clutter, don't hesitate to address the issue.


"I want each of you to stop giving me a hard time and let me do my job."


"I want every one of you to stop giving me a hard time and let me do my job."


"I want all of you to stop giving me a hard time and let me do my job."
blog comments powered by Disqus