Thursday, December 21, 2017

NYC DOE Student Perception Survey 2017-2018

 I don't know what you see when you read those questions, but here's what I see:

1. Who loves you more--the teacher or your mother?

a. mother  b. mom  c. mama  d. madre

2. How much does this teacher suck?

a. a lot   b. a whole lot   c. an inconceivably high amount  d. even more than that

3. Does your teacher give a crap about you?

a. no  b. nyet  c. nein  d. negative

4. How mad will you be at this teacher for wasting your time three years from now?

a. a lot   b. a whole lot   c. a real lot  d. to infinity and beyond

5. How incompetent is this teacher?

a. the normal amount   b. the abnormal amount  c. completely  d. 110%

6. If a bad guy said to the teacher either you or his dog was going to be pushed off a cliff, who would the teacher save?

a. you    b. the dog   c. no one   d. the teacher hates us both

7. Why doesn't the teacher care about you?

a. because I'm tall   b. because I'm short   c. because I'm a man   d. because I'm a woman

8. Whose fault is it when you fail tests?

a. the teacher   b. the pedagogue   c. the instructor  d. myself---NOT!

9. How unfair are the class rules?

a. average   b. more than average   c. extremely unfair   d. supremely unfair

10. Why can't the teacher control the class?

a. teacher is stupid   b teacher is ugly  c. teacher is crazy   d. teacher sucks

11. Why isn't the teacher excited to be in class? Teacher is ________________.

a. drunk   b. on drugs   c. asleep  d. psychotic

12. Why aren't you excited to be in class? Teacher ______________.

a. sucks    b. REALLY sucks    c. bites the big one   d. has an ATTITUDE

13. When you aren't in class, how often do you complain about the teacher?

a. all the time   b. only when I'm awake  c. even in my dreams  d. 8 days a week

14. Why doesn't the teacher respect you? Teacher is _____________.

a. racist   b. bigoted   c. a jerk   d. all of the above

15. How come the teacher never helps you? Teacher is ______________.

a. cruel    b. indifferent   c. incompetent   d. all of the above

16. How often does the teacher mistreat you?

a. daily   b. twice daily   c. I am continually tortured by even the thought of my teacher. d. perpetually

17. Why are you unmotivated in this class? The teacher _______________.

a. sucks    b. really sucks   c. sucks the big one   d. sucks, sucks, sucks.

18. If your teacher didn't suck, how would you feel?

a. relieved   b. content   c. happy   d. ecstatic

19. How many times has this teacher disappointed you?

a. several times   b. many times   c. on a daily basis  d. to infinity and beyond

20. What do you like better, puppies or this teacher?

a. puppies  b. puppies   c. puppies  d. puppies
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