Well, it appears that the new English Regents extolled the virtues of filling bags with a flair, and also the great advantages of having leaders with no experience. After all, kids who aspire to fill bags need someone to look up to. And it looks as though they've found someone:
“Johhny the Bagger” has become an entire movement and is being used by corporations like McDonalds to ‘inspire’ their staff...
It's nice that we can inspire our children the same way Mickey D's does. After all, if we're going to feed them that vile food, we may as well inspire them to do sub-minimum wage work with panache. Even better, the exam tells the students which sides of arguments to take. No more of that time-consuming "agree or disagree." Take this side, kid, and that's it.
It really saves a lot of time and trouble when we tell kids what to think. Here are a few topics I'd suggest for the next big English test:
1. A lot of Americans are now losing their homes. Some of them are living in vans. Write a well-organized composition of about 300 words, and explain how living "on the road" can be big fun for a family of four.
2. In places like Wal-Mart, a lot of single parents can't afford to buy health insurance. When they get sick they have to go to emergency rooms. List a dozen fun ways to pass the time while waiting in an emergency room. Extra points for really cheery activities.
3. Presidential candidate John McCain wants to stop giving tax breaks to companies that provide health insurance for their employees. He'd rather give tax breaks to individuals and let them pay for it themselves. Give three reasons why this is better than the awful "socialized medicine" that people have in every other industrialized country in the world.
4. Mike has a contract with a bus company, and a contract with the teachers (Some of these teachers have experience, which is bad). The bus company wants to change its contract since the price of gas has exploded, and it's now losing money. Mike wants to change the contract with the teachers, since they get paid too much, and some of them have experience (which is bad). Explain why Mike should break the contract he made with the teachers (who are experienced, and therefore bad) and insist on keeping the contract with the bus drivers (who may have no experience driving buses at all, and are therefore better drivers).
Have you got any questions you'd like to propose for the NYS Regents Exam?
Clarification: This question did not appear on the English Regents exam--it was on the recently given component retest.
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